When you first become a mom, your baby quickly becomes the center of your life. If anyone were to ask, you'd agree that you would do whatever it took to protect your baby and keep them safe. You want to be the best mom that ever walked this earth because that's what your child needs, right? How hard could it be?
Then, we are catapulted into this thing called life, which makes us question and judge and feel less-than. All of a sudden, being an awesome mom doesn't seem so easy. Like the time I was at the library story hour with my three toddlers and they were excited to get out of there because a special lunch was at the forefront of their minds.
"Is it almost time for McDonald's, Mommy?" my oldest asked.
Another mother turned to let me know her kids had no idea what a Happy Meal was and there was definitely a moment of shame brewing within me.
Or that time when I decided to supplement breastfeeding with formula after having my third baby because I was tired of feeling like a prisoner to my home and my breasts, and a stranger came up to me while I was feeding him and asked, "Why would you ever want to do that when you have the opportunity to give them something so much better?" as he pointed to my chest.
After countless incidents like these, I decided I simply don't have the fight in me to compete in the Mommy Wars. If someone criticizes my mothering, I let them be the better mom, and I move on.
I know it's true: There are better moms than me out there.
I truly believe the Mommy Wars were built upon the need for some to feel that they're doing a better job at momming than others, so I let them have it. And I'm better for it.
I let them own the thought that they're better because they breastfeed, they don't let their kids eat fast food and they force them to do sports or activities. They obviously need that validation and I have no problem giving it. But more than that, I don't have the energy to explain my circumstances or how everyone is different or that its been a really hard day.
I know it's true: There are better moms than me out there.
There are moms who have more patience. There are moms who hover more and moms who hover less. There are moms who sign their kids up to play a sport or an instrument and now their kids are little prodigies. There are moms who don't let their kids dye their hair blue and there are moms who let their child get their nose pierced.
But none of that means I'm a bad mom.
So, they win: They're better moms than I am and I don't care. What I care about is having happy children. What I want is to feel good about my parenting decisions and not compare them to anyone else's. I need to do what's right for my family, and that means not always being the best mom, but being a mom who is doing her best.
