I still remember the photo of my boyfriend as a handsomely half-dressed 4-year-old cowboy on the display board outside our senior class banquet. Thankfully, he had the same sense of humor as his parents and got a hearty chuckle out of the whole thing. A few of our friends werenโt as entertained by the embarrassing photographs of themselves.
Now that I have my own kids, I realize that the parents probably snapped the photos of their kids like I do with mine now, on the spur of the moment when theyโre overwhelmed with the hilarity and cuteness and want to treasure it always. And the images captured are some of their fondest memories.
Back then, those snapshots were kept in a photo album or box, tucked away on a bookshelf or cabinet, only brought out during holidays or on special occasions, like a college graduation. The silly videos were watched every now and then, when families gathered to reminisce.
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But now, theyโre instantly sent to Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, or posted on a blog or Tumblr for the world to see. Theyโre tagged, sometimes even SEOโd, then sent to YouTube to be played by hundreds, or maybe thousands, of complete strangers.
Iโm the first to admit that itโs easy to become an oversharer in the age of social media, where likes and retweets give us validation. We commiserate with others about the cuteness or ridiculousness (and everything in between) and it makes us feel like weโre normal. Sometimes it does more, like give us attention and notoriety, even fame.
But as my kids get older and the more public all our lives become, the more vigilant I am about what I share and post. Mostly, I wonder what they will think about all this when theyโre adults, when the funny photos of them can be Googled by their employers.
Whatโs sweet and lovely, or seemingly safe and harmless, might not be to them a few years down the road.
And because they are more aware of their own appearance, theyโre in tune with how others see and perceive them. And theyโre conscious of how they exist within a social setting: the norms, the expectations.
Itโs thrilling. And scary.
So I have to ask myself, will they have the same sense of humor that my ex boyfriend had about the innocent photo when itโs posted on the worldโs bulletin board? The sad truth is that whatโs sweet and lovely, or seemingly safe and harmless, might not be to them a few years down the road.
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As much as I love the likes, retweets and shares that a photo gets, or the viral potential a video might have, I want to be sure I wonโt have to apologize for my actions later on. Donโt get me wrong. Iโm not a perfect parent, and Iโm quite certain Iโll have a few things to make up for when my kids get older.
But if itโs something I can knowingly prevent, lately Iโm erring on the side of being extra cautious, and allowing them the freedom to create their own public persona without any help from me.
