Be a good listener
Focus your attention on your friends' pregnancies. The overwhelming joy of a successful pregnancy will more than likely make you eager to share everything about your experience when you learn that one of your friends is expecting. However, each person's pregnancy is unique, so make sure to spend plenty of time listening to your friends, focusing on the joys and struggles of their pregnancies, in addition to offering insights of your own.
Respect differences
Remember that every pregnancy is different, so do not assume you have all the information that your friends need to know. Some women, through no fault of their own, have complicated pregnancies that may call for serious behavior modification and even medication. The last thing you want to do is brush off their concerns and assume that what was OK for you is OK for them. For instance, do not tell a woman who has been given activity restrictions that it is fine for her to go to the gym with you. If she asks for your input, relay your experience, but tell her to take it with a grain of salt; encourage her to follow her doctor’s advice. Additionally, keep in mind that your friends will have different preferences regarding the birth of their babies. For example, do not bash your friend's choice to have a natural home birth with a midwife just because you chose a planned C-section the week before your due date, or vice versa.
Use tact when raising concerns
Raise concerns with sensitivity. If you see your pregnant friend doing something you think may be harmful during pregnancy such as drinking alcohol or eating sushi, use tact when you approach her. Telling her she is a terrible mother will not likely win her over to your point of view. Approach the situation with the assumption that your friend is unaware of the possible ramifications of her behavior. Instead, provide her with some useful websites or printouts about the dangers of what she is doing. Begin your conversation with the words, “You may not be aware, but …” This should help soften the blow of what you have to say.
Be positive
Remain positive around your pregnant friends. A pregnant woman has enough on her mind without having to endure listening to every tale of miserable pregnancy, excruciating labor and complicated delivery that you have ever heard. If she does not ask to hear about potential things that can go wrong, do not offer these stories to her.
