As soon as my oldest child was about 3, everyone started asking me where he was going to preschool. The truth was, I hadn’t even thought about where he’d go because it was never my intention to send him – I wanted him home with me for as long as possible. It was a decision I made with his father before we even conceived.
No one seemed to like my answer
People felt like they had the right to tell me he wasn’t going to be socially intelligent enough to start kindergarten. I also heard “cut the cord” more than one hundred times. When my friend's husband reminded me I “needed to let him go at some point,” I kind of lost it.
“He’s 3!” I said, “He has his whole life to be in school and grow up and spend his days without me, so I’m keeping him home as long as I can!” Perhaps that was a bit dramatic, but I was so irritated that everyone felt the need to tell me how to raise my child and how necessary it was for me to send him to school as soon as possible.
I’d never think about telling someone else I thought preschool was a bad decision and that they should really be spending time with their kid. It’s a personal decision and everyone has different family needs.
I loved spending my days with him, and I made sure he was socialized enough
We spent time writing letters and reading board books. He loved crafting with me and his other friends in the neighborhood, and he loved spending time in the garden and helping me cook.
His brother and sister came along before he went into kindergarten, so he learned very quickly what it was like to share and be patient. He knew he wasn’t the only child in the house and got used to having to share my attention. And when he did enter kindergarten, he wasn’t behind in the least and he had a great year despite everyone telling me he’d be behind the kids who did attend preschool.
The truth is there are great benefits to sending your kid to preschool and being able to keep them home a bit longer
I know moms who couldn’t wait to get their kids in preschool, moms who didn’t want to send their kids but did because they had to work or felt like they weren’t able to give their kids what they thought they needed at home. Or you may enroll one of them in preschool and end up pulling them out, like one of my friends did. She told me she couldn’t deal with the meltdowns and back-talk her daughter had picked up at preschool — not to mention the fact she came home sick all the time. You have to do what feels right to you and what works for your family.
The choice we made was right for our family, and I have no regrets
My kids adjusted just fine, have normal social lives, and I got to have more time with them, something I desperately miss now that they are thriving teenagers who barely need me and never want me around.
Honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing. If you don’t really want to send your kids to preschool but feel like you should because everyone is telling you they will be better off, go with your gut. Your kids are going to be just fine.
