In this article
The internet, for better or worse, is here to stay, and requires that parents expand their field of worry to making sure their child is staying safe online. "Safe from what?" is the attendant question, as fears can span everything from access to inappropriate or material, contact from strangers and predators, cyberbullying, and mood disorders brought on by or exacerbated by social media use.
“Although I do love being able to look up whatever I want from a little computer in my hand, I really wish I wasn’t raising a kid during the internet age,” Charmaine Terregino, a lawyer and mother of three from Chapel Hill, NC, told Mom.com.
According to the 2019 Common Sense Media Census, among tweens, the total amount of screen media used is more than 4.5 hours a day, and among teens, the amount of screentime per day is nearly 7.5 hours a day, with more and more of that screentime devoted to internet use over television watching.
Some additional stats, per the Common Sense Social Media Census:
- Online video watching has grown the most, as more and more kids report watching YouTube. Young people who report watching every day more than doubled since 2015: from 24% to 56% among 8- to 12-year-olds, and from 34 to 69% among 13- to 18-year-olds, with the amount of time spent per day clocking in at nearly an hour. Though YouTube states it is only for kids 13 and older, most kids under 13 choose to watch YouTube and not YouTube Kids.
- Though social media use has held steady among teens at about an hour a day, more say they use it every day (from 45% in 2015 to 63% in 2019). Among 16- to 18-year-olds who use social media, the median age of first use is 14; 28% say they started before age 13 (though most platforms ask that users be at least 13).
What are the dangers of social media use?
Internet predators might be the first fear that come to mind for kids and teens using apps or YouTube. Users might be approached via comments or chat and direct messaging features, in a seemingly benign way at first. Unsupervised time on apps and YouTube channels also increases the chances of your child or teenager’s exposure to inappropriate or even harmful content.
Beyond the overt dangers kids face on the internet, there are other risks to frequent use. “Research has shown that the more time teens spend on digital media, particularly social media, the higher the risk of depression, anxiety, ADHD, suicidality, and relational problems,” clinical psychologist Dr. Nicole Beurkens told Mom.com.
Dr. Beurkens, who is an ambassador to Qustodio, a free app for monitoring and limiting a child’s phone or tablet use, also pointed out that girls may be more susceptible to adverse effects of internet use. “While limited use of social media exposure doesn’t seem to place them at higher risk, girls in particular seem to be prone to greater mental health problems the more time they spend on these platforms.”
Cyberbullying also increasingly takes place on social media apps, which can cause significant problems for both boys and girls.
How parents can curb internet and social media use
It may be unrealistic to try keeping kids off social media altogether, especially once they have access to a smartphone. Dr. Beurkens said the determination of when a child is ready for a smartphone should include evaluating a child’s levels of responsibility, judgment, and maturity, not only for the device itself but also the activities in which they’ll engage on the device. (She did say that children under 13 are not appropriate candidates for smartphones but might be ready for phones with call and text features.)
“Open and frequent communication with children is essential when it comes to social media and healthy online habits,” Beurkens said. Once parents feel confident their children can manage independent internet use and social media accounts, they should discuss what constitutes appropriate use.
“If parents feel a child is ready to manage social media apps there needs to be discussion about appropriate use, safe communication, and what to do if the child experiences inappropriate behavior online,” Dr. Beurkens said. “Parents should sit down regularly with their teens to look at social media together and discuss what they are being exposed to, how the teen feels about it, and what boundaries may be helpful.”
Terregino agreed that communication is one of the best tools she has as a parent. “I feel like as long as we talk a lot and stay engaged with each other, [my kids] will come to me when something online worries or confuses him,” she said.
Parents should also work to model good internet behavior, whether that means curbing their own phone use, setting time limits, or turning on “do not disturb” features.
Signs your child might be hiding questionable or dangerous internet use
Dr. Beurkens said that parents should be aware of any increase in secretive behavior, hiding of devices or deleting of content, and increased time spent isolated with devices. “Changes in mood, increased anxiety, and refusal to participate in activities that are typical for the child are also warning signs,” she added.
Parents should also watch for:
- More negative talk, increased avoidance of school or specific people, and increased complaints about physical symptoms such as headaches or stomachaches
- In general, any sudden changes in mood, behavior, or physical health can be an indication that something is going on, and a child’s social media use should be one area parents examine
