With the state of politics, the climate, the pandemic — you name it — stakes are high right now. And in the community where I live, people have no qualms about sharing their beliefs — about who to vote for, whose lives matter, and who is welcome. There are signs and slogans everywhere — on bumpers, in yards, in windows, and on one street corner, a giant cloth banner hanging down a retaining wall.
But what does standing up for your beliefs look like when you’re a kid? Or a teen? Or in places where such open displays of political beliefs are more frowned upon?
According to parenting expert Michelle Borba, you can start young. “The best news is that we can teach kids the core virtues and skills of strong character and moral courage, and can begin when they are toddlers,” she writes.
How?
Ask them what they think
Younger kids don’t always have the language to talk about their beliefs. Maybe they don’t even know what their views are just yet. Your role, as a parent, is to give them plenty of opportunities to talk about values and beliefs, by asking them what they think when they see or hear about some kind of injustice or moral dilemma. Simply by asking, and then listening, you’re showing them that their beliefs matter.
Then say, 'Tell me more ...'
Kid logic, amirite? Few 6-year-olds are going to clearly articulate why discriminiation is wrong — even when they can feel it in their bones. Help kids learn to articulate their views in a safe space by teasing out their ideas with them and coaxing the conversation along. By practicing with you, they’ll be ready to speak up someday on their own.
Show them examples
The power of young people to make change by standing up for their beliefs is undeniable. Malala. Greta Thunberg. The Parkland shooting survivors. Make sure your children know their stories. And if there are local kids and teens who are making a difference in your community, even better.
Know your history
You can and should expect your kids to have questions — especially about tough topics, such as race. And you can and should be prepared with facts — or to at least sit with your child as you find some answers from reliable sources, together.
Set an example
Dr. Borba puts it like this: “One great question to yourself ask each day is: ‘If I were the only example my child had to learn moral habits, what did she learn today from watching me?” And it’s not just walking the talk. Direct moral teaching — talking directly to your child about your values — matters, too.
Bring them with you
Standing up for your beliefs doesn’t just happen at the dinner table or in Facebook comments. Increasingly, passionate people are taking to the streets, to make their voices heard but also to be in community with like-minded folks.
If there are organized (i.e., safe) marches in your community, take your children with you. They’ll witness all the different ways they can express their views — from what people chant, or what they wear, to the puns on the signs they hold. Marches can be a great reminder that singing, humor — even joy — can be part of standing up for your beliefs, too.
Teach them the difference between assertive and aggressive
One could argue that we lack role models right now who can respectfully disagree. It’s an art form, for sure. Teach your kids how to state their beliefs with confidence — making eye contact, standing tall, using a calm, clear voice — without devolving into anger and finger-pointing. You can be passionate and polite. You can have conviction and be considerate.
Tell them not everyone will agree with them
And that's OK. It might even be the point.
Help them get involved
Kids can’t vote — yet. But there are other ways to get involved. You can help them write a letter. You can volunteer — together. If your child is in school, you might encourage them to join, or even start, a club. It’s all about putting actions behind words, and fostering that can-do spirit, so that when they see a wrong in the world, they know what to do to make it right.
