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In a world where everything from setting up playdates with mom groups to keeping up with your kids’ school assignments, everything is done via social media. And in today’s digital age, since our kids are online regularly, ensuring their safety should be our top priority. The likelihood that our kids will come across harmful content online or be exposed to threats or cyberbullying is significant. Here are some tips and strategies to help caregivers monitor social media usage to ensure a safer digital environment for our children.
The danger of online predators and cyberbullying
The online world is full of predators looking to groom children. This begins with the predator trying to build a relationship with the child. The process often includes things like sharing fake profile pictures or pretending to have similar interests. After forming this relationship, the predator may pressure a child to send photos of themselves or ask to meet in person. In some cases, the predator may resort to blackmail and threaten to share the photos with the child’s school or family.
In early 2022, 17-year-old Jordan DeMay – who was coerced into sending a nude photo of himself to three men pretending to be a girl online – took his own life after he was harassed repeatedly for money by the men. They threatened to release the photo to the public unless he sent them $1000. DeMay’s parents now want to make parents aware that this could happen to any child.
“When we were informed that Jordan was potentially a victim of an internet scam called sextortion via Instagram, there was never a hesitation in our minds to share his story,” Jordan’s mother Jennifer Buda told ABC News. “We wanted everyone to be aware about sextortion and have those tough conversations with their families so if it did happen to them, they knew to talk to someone.”
Cyberbullying is also rampant across social media; according to Security.org, 21% of kids between the ages of 10 and 18 have experienced cyberbullying. The increase in time kids spend online has contributed to the instances of cyberbullying. Parents estimate that their kids spend at least four hours a day with screens; before the pandemic, the average was three hours or less.
Access to inappropriate content is another threat kids face online.
Protecting kids on social media
Online digital creator Nicki Unplugged, a mom of two who has amassed over 2 million followers on TikTok and approximately 360K on Instagram, is loved by moms across the globe because she keeps it real and shares authentic parenting moments.
“I am a mom who is focused on everyday social media content, but I’m also informed on all things modern-day motherhood,” Nicki told Mom.com. “I talk openly to my kids because I know I can’t protect them 24/7. So, open communication is important.”
Embedded content: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CyyrnmRvgWc/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link
In a recent Instagram story, Nicki shared a clip of the elaborate and impressive house her son built on Roblox. She knows that doing this makes him happy but he also knows he has limits and boundaries. Once his daily allotment of time is up, it’s up.
“I want to support their love for gaming or watching YouTube Shorts and other appropriate things, but also want to be real with them and be a parent.”
She says that it’s important to be open to what is good online but also to be open and aware of the harmful aspects. “It’s about finding the balance, a give and take.”
Implementing screen time limits
One wrong click could lead your child to inappropriate content. Incorporating social media parental controls is one way to combat that. Another is to implement screen time limits.
Matthew Schubert is a licensed professional counselor (LPC) specializing in issues that affect children and their parents. Schubert believes that it’s important to restrict social media access for children under the age of 13. “As your child approaches this age, it’s crucial to establish clear guidelines and boundaries that will allow your child to maintain the privilege of social media usage.”
Schubert – owner of Gem State Wellness in Boise, Idaho, believes that parents should be consistent in enforcing agreed-upon rules and stay consistent when doing so. “By setting firm expectations and delaying social media access until 13, additional parental controls should not be required. If additional measures seem necessary, it indicates either your child isn’t ready for this autonomy or that there is a need to reassess your parenting approach to avoid being excessively authoritarian,” Schubert told Mom.com
What it truly boils down to is communication. If we parent our kids in such a way that we’re being open and honest with them from the start, as Nicki states above, then we’re on the right track. When they know the risks, understand the difference between right and wrong, and know that they can come to us when they’re facing something difficult, we can start to loosen the reigns a bit and offer up a little bit more freedom here and there.
