When did it become the norm to plan out every moment of our children’s lives? So many of my mom friends complain about how they’re exhausted with shuffling their kids from league sports to classes to extracurricular activities — and yes! All during the pandemic! If they’re not taking kids to classes, they’re setting up playdates or researching crafts to occupy their kids.
My friends and millions of their fellow moms are wracking their brains to engage their kids — all in the name of helping them develop as people and to stave off boredom. But what I want to know is: When did we stop just letting kids play?
How are these parents doing it?
Part of my befuddlement is that I barely had the energy to do this much before COVID-19 happened. I don’t comprehend how all these parents — moms especially — are shouldering this burden now. Still. Again.
It would be one thing if my friends were happy — but they’re not. They’re angry. Resentful. Burnt out.
While I understand the desire to provide opportunities for our children, how does it benefit us as parents and people to kill ourselves keeping up with these schedules? What kind of example are we setting to our children — especially our girls? What are we teaching them about our time, our boundaries, and rest?
Let the kids get bored and figure it out
The other part is that even if I had the energy to do so, I would never want to. I have never been a hands-on parent. I don't even play games with them. (I know that’s maybe the worst thing to do, but I hate playing games with my kids. It does not bring me joy, and also, I gave them siblings for that.)
Granted, I realize that parents of single children don’t have that luxury, but I think the general idea still holds. Even when I have my youngest child to myself when his three older siblings are at classes, I mostly ignore him and let him have the run of the house.
We have an entire house full of crap for them to play and experiment with, read, or destroy. In fact, my house looks like an art supply store, a toy store, a used book store, and a dumpster all went on a bender together and then violently vomited. And yet what do my kids play with? Their favorite playthings are the giant boxes from Costco or Amazon. They like the smaller boxes, too, but their absolute favorites are the huge 24” x 18” x 24” boxes. (It’s trite, but true.)
My kids — when they’re not deadening their brains and ruining their eyes on screens — have created some awesome games all on their own without any help from me. In no particular order, here are some activities they’ve done to pass the time:
- Drew their own graphic novels
- Constructed robots, dinosaurs, boats, televisions, etc., from giant boxes
- Wrote their own stories based on their favorite stuffed animals, cartoon characters, and WWE wrestlers (for some reason, my children are obsessed with John Cena and Dwayne Johnson)
- Composed complex dance choreography to songs they love
- Learned how to play popular radio songs on the piano
- Acted out elaborate stories and plays with their 50 million stuffies and army men
- Baked and cooked their own creations — either from box cakes, ready-made dough, and whatever they can think of
- Created multiple art challenges
- Competed to see who could solve long multiplication and math problems first
Sure, they once tried to sled down the stairs in a laundry basket, but the point is, they had a lot of fun and only came away with minor injuries.
Why play is so important
“By not allowing free and feral play, your kids lose a sense of self,” play expert Jeff Harry told Mom.com. “Allowing them to simply be bored and learn how to come up with new ways of playing helps your child connect to who they are and who they are meant to be.”
This year, let’s give ourselves a break and let the schedules go. Let your kids run wild and bored and witness the amazing creations they invent.
