Sleep Tight: Establishing a Great Bedtime Routine

Everyone's been there. Exhausted and overwhelmed by the day, parents eschew their children's bedtime rituals by feeding them cereal for dinner, skipping their baths or watching television until everyone falls asleep together. It's called being human. But to create a successful bedtime routine, one that will guarantee a good night's sleep for everyone, moms and dads should stick with continuity and stability. Parenting experts share some tips on how to keep bedtime from becoming a battleground.

The pre-bedtime ritual is as important as the bedtime ritual, said Deborah Tillman, the child care expert and host of "Supernanny Lockdown" on the Lifetime channel. "A good wind-down time is 7 or 7:30 p.m. for pre-K children," said Tillman, who has 20 years of experience. "And no matter the age, winding down does not mean computers, and it doesn't mean TV. It means quiet time. You might play a quiet family game together but nothing with too much excitement and stimulation."

Tillman recommends what she calls the three B's of bedtime. The first "B" is for bath. The second "B" is for brushing teeth, and the third "B" is for book. "And it has to stay the same all the time," Tillman stressed. "The problem I'm finding with parents is that they're not consistent." Veronica Hinojosa Stang, who sleep-trains babies up to 1 year old from her base in Los Angeles, agrees and added, "The more simple the sleep routine, the better."

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Hinojosa Stang and Tillman both said there is nothing more soothing for a child at the end of the day than a bath. "It's also good to interact with the child and say things like, 'I'm going to wash under your arms now,' " advised Tillman. But keep the soap and rubber duckies to a minimum. "You just don't want to make it a ritual where the bath is overly stimulating with too many toys and bubbles," she said.

Once the pajamas are on, reading one book to your child is best before bed because it emphasizes the routine. "It's also just enough for her to listen to the story," said Tillman, who owns three child care centers in Virginia. "If she has three books in her hand, and she knows mommy is going to read all three, she's not really going to pay attention." Reading time is also a good time to reinforce the day's lessons. "Let's say we have a problem with sharing with a 3-year-old," she said. "Then read a book that emphasizes the importance of taking turns."

Once a little one is all tucked in, it may be necessary to play soft music and even nature sounds. Don't worry. These are good things. "Anything that’s soothing and warm where they feel loved and protected is good," Tillman said. Hinojosa Stang added that for babies under 4 months, a little singing goes a long way. "For a newborn, it is very loving to sing in a low voice before they go to bed if you can."

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Nothing says sweet dreams like turning off the lights. But if your little one needs to see you before drifting off to sleep, a little light can be just right before making your grand exit. "Nightlights are good, but never leave the main light on," Tillman advised. "Parents should kiss, hug and get out the door. You can leave the bedroom door cracked but leave the room. Allow them to fall asleep on their own."

It's always tempting to let a baby or a toddler sleep in your bed either to kick off bedtime or to get him back to sleep in the middle of the night. But as moms and dads determined to establish a sleep routine that works, you should resist temptation. You should also avoid lying in the child's bed with him, Tillman said, because it takes away his ability to fall asleep without you nearby. "Then you wind up falling asleep with the child," Tillman said. "That's not good."

If a baby wakes up overnight, help her lie down and soothe her until she falls back asleep. But don't pick her up, Tillman said. "When you put the child down and then pick her up as soon as she cries, you're just conditioning her that you're going to pick her up," she said. If the crying is too much to bear, let your significant other be the enforcer.

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