How to Let Older Kids Help With Baby

You've got your hands full with a newborn, and no extra time. But your older children are the perfect little helpers to lend a hand as you tend to your new baby’s needs. Big brothers and sisters can feel they are contributing to the family unit, from simple tasks for the youngest ones to more grown-up chores for older kids. Dr. Harvey Karp, author of the book and DVD, The Happiest Toddler, shares some ideas.

Children under 2 years old can help with straightforward, menial tasks like picking up the pacifier that fell on the ground or throwing something in the trash bin for you. "At this age, children won't be very interested in the baby," Karp says. "They like to look at them, but they are more interested in their own life at this point."

“Between the ages of 2 and 6, children become more nurturing,” says Karp. “They like to hold their dollies, feed their dollies, care for their dollies. This is a great age.” Help them further develop their caring sensibilities by assigning tasks like testing the temperature of the baby's bath water.

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Keeping the house tidy, especially around the baby’s area, is a great way for toddlers to pitch in. They can also help put away groceries or unload and stack diapers. “It’s good for toddlers to understand that every member of the family has responsibilities,” says Karp. “They are at the perfect age to place dirty clothes in the hamper, or fold and put away swaddle blankets. It shows them everybody helps in a family.”

When baby tears are flowing, two "shushers" are better than one. “Toddlers often mimic parents,” says Karp. “If a baby is crying, they can help make shushing sounds with the parent that will calm the baby.”

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Past the toddler years, it’s time for the big-kid chores. They can now take on more grown-up tasks, like taking out the trash, feeding a bottle to the baby or helping change diapers. “At around 6 years old, children become much more responsible,” says Karp. “They can participate so much more.”

It’s not all about dirty diapers. By singing lullabies or flipping through a favorite book, older siblings can help relax the baby. “If you massage your baby, you could have your older child help massage the baby’s feet with some nice oil so they can participate in a way the baby can’t get hurt,” Karp says.

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Keeping the baby healthy is one of the best and easiest ways older siblings can help. “It is very important [that] children wash their hands," Karp says. “After playdates, they should wash their hands and put on a fresh shirt to help minimize germs that are brought into the house.”

As children learn to do things for themselves, they can show off their new skills with the baby. Let them have a go at fastening the buttons on a onesie. “Around 5 or 6, kids can help dress the baby,” says Karp. “Before then, buttons are kind of challenging.”