10 Things Not to Say to Moms of Girls

It may sound like an innocent question, but it implies that something is wrong or lacking with our family, as if we couldn’t possibly be happy with “just girls.” Also, you may be touching on another sensitive subject here—perhaps the parents can’t have any more children, or may have miscarried or lost a child.

Try instead: “Sisters must have such a strong bond."

I’m sure families with boys hear the same thing, only in reverse. Is one sex really easier overall? Each gender has its own unique challenges and complexities—really, the only way this statement could make sense would be to say, “Girls are so much easier than quantum physics,” and there are those who would even argue with that.

Try instead: “What’s the biggest challenge with having girls?”

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I've heard this one applied to boys as well, and what it really does is perpetuate the stereotype that teenagers are just bad in general. I blame it on the media—and Lindsay Lohan. The teenage girls I know (including—ahem—my own) are smart, self-assured, kind and ambitious.

Try instead: "Teenagers get such a bad rap. Tell me some positive things!"

Aside from the creepy, leering sound of this when coming from a male, it feeds into another stereotype—that of the boy-crazed, coquettish teen female. In reality, many teenage girls—while they may have male friends—are too busy with schoolwork and activities to have serious boyfriends.

Try instead: “What is the dating scene like for teen girls these days?”

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In my experience, this doozie is usually followed by the equally charming, “If she wants to find a husband.” What is this, 1950? While no one can doubt that it’s always handy to know how to fry up an omelette, this statement is almost never applied to boys.

Try instead: “What are some of your girls’ hobbies?”

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While I can’t speak entirely for my husband (who can’t speak right now, anyway, because he’s out buying us nail polish. Just kidding!) I’d have to say the balance of male/female energy in our house suits us all just fine.

Try instead: “Three women in the house! Your husband must be in heaven!”

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True story: A dad once said this to me as my then 12- and 14-year-olds were each having a hamburger, while right next to them a boy of the same age sat in front of a plate loaded with three hot dogs. I made that dad put down his 10-pound slab of ribs and listen to my rant about girls and negative body image.

Try instead: Skip the comments on what someone is eating, and take a broader approach to gain some insight. Start with “What’s your take on the issue of the media influencing girls’ body image?"

After I stop laughing, I like to take the person saying this by the hand and show them my 13-year-old’s room, or the jumbled mass inside the dishwasher my girls just loaded. They’ll never equate girls with housework ever again.

Try instead: “Do your girls have chores? If so, what kind?”

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I’m sorry to say I’ve been the recipient of this comment more than once. By strangers. I know they were just trying to be funny, but unless it’s someone you know, commenting on the menstrual cycle of others might come off as a little bit odd.

Try instead: Keep silent and avoid this minefield. Unless you’re my husband saying this, in which case we punish him by sending him to the store to pick up tampons.

You can’t argue with science or physiology—girls can be emotional, especially during certain times of the month. But the last time I checked, boys can be emotional, too—just poke your head into any sports bar during a playoff game.

Try instead: “When you see your girls act a certain way, does it bring back memories of how you felt at their age?”

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