As a parent who doesn't want to turn her kids into serial killers, there are very few options for discipline in my arsenal. I try providing incentives to promote and encourage good behavior. But sometimes your kid pretends to be a shark and tries to bite the mailman, and what are you going to do? For those moments, we have the time-out chair.
Here are 20 of those moments, when I just have to send my kids to time out, and they are pretty equally divided between my 5-year-old and 3-year-old.
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- Licking the walls
I mean, it's not super naughty, but it's gross. And I guess if I have to tell you 25 times to stop doing it it's time for the chair.
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Telling your little brother that his eyes are full of poop and his head is full of spaghetti
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Tooting on grandma
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Tooting on the Sunday School teacher
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Tooting on the neighbor's infant son
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Throwing Rescue Bots at your mom's head because you got confused and "'fought dat mom was Megatwon"
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Throwing Barbies at your mom's head for the same reason.
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Actively encouraging your little brother to poop in his underwear
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Kicking your mom when she puts your sister in time out for telling you to poop in your underwear
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Throwing a ball at the babysitter's face because you wanted to see what would happen
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Screaming "Mommy is a monster!" out the car window
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Sneaking into the babysitter's car, turning on her ceiling lights and letting the car run out the battery
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Telling your aunt that even though she went to school she knows "NOFING ABOUT ANYFING!"
Even if it's true.
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Telling your sister she smells like a "poopy watermelon alien face"
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Trying to run into the street because you thought you saw a Pokemon, even though you were not even holding the phone that has "Pokemon Go" on it
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Telling the Sunday School teacher that Jesus "doesn't wike you berry much"
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Licking mommy's leg
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Trying to lick mommy's eyeball
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Running away at the library and then yelling, "YOU ARE NOT MY GOOD MOMMY!" at the top of your lungs
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Sniffing dad's butt because you know how he feels about that