We’re moms. We’re brave and we’re tough and we can fix an ouchy boo-boo with the sheer power of a kiss.
It’s not a glamorous job, this mom thing. Even when I’m trying to get all dressed up and look nice (is that a lollipop in your hair?), I don’t always succeed. In my former life, I actually got dressed. In my former life, I definitely always brushed my hair. In my former life, I always—and I mean ALWAYS—brushed my teeth.
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But let’s face it: our kids have got to get on the bus, and the bus isn’t going to wait for you to put on a cute outfit or have fresh breath. On those days when I’m just rushing, trying to make it all work, there's a thin line between put together and total disaster. But you know what?
I still walk right out that door.
Here are 11 ways I left the house this week:
- In pajamas
I don’t mean in adorable Old Navy sweatpants that can double as pajamas. I mean full-on pajamas that I totally bought at Victoria’s Secret because I’m fancy like that.
- With a messy bun
I don’t mean one of those fabulous messy buns like you might see on the head of a Hadid sister or Chrissy Teigen. I mean my hair is a freaking bird's nest after hurricane or something.
- Without brushing my teeth
This one was a total mistake. I meant to brush my teeth—really I did—but there was just no time. I’m not proud. Take five feet of clearance if you want to talk to me, I'm warning you.
- Faux PJs
It's not always Victoria's Secret. I also drag around in those Old Navy sweatpants (mentioned earlier).
- In yoga pants
And with absolutely no intention of doing yoga.
That same supercute sundress? It’s got one day left in it. Doesn’t it?
- Still in yoga pants
This time from the day before, because they were laying on the bottom of my closet floor. Also just laying there, discarded and dirty: any intention of doing yoga.
- As a bad imitation of 'Sex and the City'
In a white top with a black bra underneath. I'd convinced myself that I was channeling SJP circa her "Sex and the City" days, but in reality, I looked like an extra from the show who was, at best, a streetwalker, and at worst, a homeless person.
- Supercute!
In a supercute sundress that I found at the back of my closet that (miracle of miracles!) actually fits!
- Milking it!
In that same supercute sundress that I found at the back of my closet that (miracle of miracles!) actually fits! What? It got a lot of compliments on it yesterday.
- Last time, I swear!
That same supercute sundress? It’s got one day left in it. Doesn’t it? It does, right?
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- Not in that supercute sundress
I didn't wear that supercute sundress again (though it was right there on the closet floor, so easy!). Instead, I was in my pajamas that I slept in last night, but (clever!) with a jacket over it AS IF I AM FOOLING ANYONE.
Hey, I can still fix a boo-boo with the sheer power of a kiss (even if I haven’t brushed my teeth, again?)? Pretty bad ass.
