I've done a lot of writing about my divorce: the process, the pain, the saddest parts, less time with my children. I haven't talked too much, though, about all the positive aspects of divorce as a parent.
Honestly, it kind of makes me nervous to admit that there are a lot of things about divorce that I enjoy. I feel like I should be a lot more torn up about it than I actually am.
Except I'm really not that torn up about it.
My ex-husband and I had a pretty easy divorce. We eased out of our marriage over the course of two years. We weren't in a rush to rip things apart. In fact, we worked together to dismantle our marriage without destroying our family. After two years of being separated, and a few months being officially divorced, I can say that I actually really love being divorced.
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I get to have the most sex. Multiple times a day.
I understand that my situation is a bit ideal: I'm still best friends with my ex-husband, we live 7 minutes from each other, we still do family dinners and go out together. Our kids' schedule is really flexible, since both of us have jobs that aren't consistent week to week. If I need him to have them an extra day, he's usually willing to trade nights with me.
And vice versa.
Here is a list, in no particular order, of all the pros of divorce, even if you are a parent:
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I get multiple days off during the week and weekends to do as I please.
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My house stays clean for two to three days in a row.
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I get to sleep in. CONSTANTLY!
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I don't have to make breakfast, lunch or dinner for anyone but myself. (Well, and my new partner.)
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I actually get to have date nights. (And maybe that's why I'm not married anymore—our lack of date nights.)
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I've been able to take weekend trips that don't require more than one bag. If I was traveling with the children, we would have eight, minimum, for no real reason. That's just how it goes with my children.
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I get to start my days slowly and quietly.
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It's so quiet. Like, deafening almost. I love it.
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I get to see my friends. It's not that I never saw them before, but now I don't always have a child hanging on my arm or begging to use my phone, which I always give in to just so I can talk for 10 minutes. Maybe that's just my 6- and 7-year olds.
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I get to have the most sex. Multiple times a day. Again, this might be why I got divorced, the lack of sex. I know it probably wasn't, but it's a thought.
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LESS LAUNDRY! I only have to do laundry once every two weeks. It's amazing. Despite this, I still can't seem to fold our clothes and put them away before they get wrinkled. Maybe someday.
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I arrived at places on time. Not often, but every once in awhile. I am definitely still late and definitely still use my children as an excuse.
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I can go days without hearing about Minecraft and Pokémon. I don't hear the Avatar theme song constantly in the background.
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I can actually get my work done. On the days my kids are home, I am capable of getting, maybe, an hour's worth of work done. As I write this, I have one kid on my lap and another laying next to me.
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There are nights I get to enjoy my wine just for the sake of it, as opposed to downing it while I attempt to wrestle my kids to bed.
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The first day the kids go to their dads is like a mini vacation. I take a nap, give myself a long shower and sit in my robe watching TV. Alone.
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Alone time.
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Alone time.
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Alone time.
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Alone time.
