10 Things Your Camp Counselor Won’t Tell You

Underage or of age, expect alcohol to be waiting in the wings of every camp you send your child off to. One counselor, wishing to remain anonymous, says she’s worked at multiple camps, from traditional summer camps to Christian camps, and the drinking situation is usually similar no matter what the context. “Each counselor got a few hours off during the middle of the week. Frequently, they would go to the local bars and drink during those times off—even the under age counselors,” she says. “Though it was their time off, they would arrive back at camp drunk despite campers being around.”

Camp can be a bully’s playground, even more than a school classroom. “It's important for parents to realize that camp can be a stage for bullies and a prison for their victims. The unique social structure of a camp environment, where children eat, play, and sleep together, increases the risk of bullying,” says Elaine Wolf, a former counselor and author of the novel CAMP, which deals with this issue. “New campers, campers who are not athletic and campers who appear different from their peers are prime targets for camp bullies. And camp counselors are often young adults themselves, so they don't have a lot of experience dealing with children's social issues.”

Yes, kids will get into disagreements with their peers at camp and be forced to work it out. However, the counselors are not above petty fights, either. They live in cramped quarters, too. “Overall, we got along, but there definitely were personality issues and arguments that spilled over,” one counselor recalls, saying that when it couldn’t be resolved, staffers often left or were terminated.

Like it or not, when guys and gals get together, sparks tend to fly. Maybe among the kids, but definitely among the counselors. “Romantic relationships formed between some of the staff,” one former counselor reveals. “I had one of these one summer!”

As a side effect of hooking up and flings, competition between girls (pining after a limited number of boys) is also common. “I remember some drama,” one counselor says. “Staff were in conflict when two female staffers were interested in the same male staff person, and this leading to problems with interacting and tension in their cabin. Some staff made remarks that were inappropriate towards one another, like name-labeling them ‘desperate’ or ‘loose.’”

While most camp counselors behave as role models in front of the kids they mentor, they’re not above some risky behavior in their downtime—here they hope not to get caught. “There was some edgy behavior by staff, especially between sessions,” one former counselor recalled. “There was skinny-dipping in the pool or lake—and yes, I did this too.”

Believe it or not, some crazy things can happen when young people are thrown together in unfamiliar circumstances far from home. One former counselor recalls almost going too far while playing “the snogging game” on the last night of camp when she was a teen: “The camp had counselors from different countries, varying in ages from 16 to people in their 30s, and you got points for how many people you made out with; for making out with a person of the same sex, from certain countries, or who were older or younger than you,” she says. “The night ended in one big orgy. I was only 17 and participated in the game at the beginning, but had a friend pull me out before things got as crazy as they did.”

Lest you be scared of the aforementioned behavior by camp counselors, rest assured most staffers are ready to make them feel comfortable and welcome. “We have no connections to these kids beyond being their counselors. To put it bluntly, we are strangers to them,” says Mikaela Klimovitz, a camp counselor at Camp Bernadette in New Hampshire, who works with kids ages 6 through 15. “Yet they and their parents entrust us with the huge responsibility of caring for them during the summer.” It’s a responsibility most staff take very seriously. “We as counselors shape our campers in ways their parents may not, because we are not that much older and are not related to them,” she says. "We have no connections to these kids beyond being their counselors. These kids can be themselves around us and we know no better of them.”

“If I could tell moms anything about camp, it would be to let their children go and flourish,” says Klimovitz. She explains that children are beginning to stand on their own, apart from you—which is great, but can be challenging as a mother. “Be open to changes in your children,” she says.

The great thing about camp? Kids learn to tackle obstacles and express themselves through social interaction in a coming-of-age setting. “The truly amazing thing about camp is that you get to see these kids for whom they genuinely are, especially the little ones,” says Klimovitz. “You see their true personalities and beliefs show. We can start to see who these kids are and hints as to whom they will become as they get older.”