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There are many things to consider when taking the first steps to adopt a baby through domestic adoption or adopting a child in foster care. One important question prospective parents may ask is: What is the best kind of adoption – open or closed? But what does it mean to have an open adoption and how does one figure out which option is best for them? Here are some things to keep in mind when considering open adoption vs. closed adoption.
What is an open adoption?
When someone adopts a baby in the United States through an adoption agency or with a lawyer, they must decide whether they want the adoption to be open or closed. An open adoption means that the birth parent or parents have some kind of communication after the adoption, according to Child Welfare Information Gateway. That could be pictures or phone calls back and forth or scheduled visits.
The level of contact is determined before the adoption and is agreed upon by the birth parent or parents and the adoptive family, Danielle Riley told Mom.com. She is an adoption coordinator for A Rainbow’s End Adoption Services, which is an adoption facilitator in Huntington Beach, and she is also an adoptee.
Riley said that she recommends that the birth mother has some kind of contact with the adoptive parents. And she’s not alone. There is a body of research that says having contact with birth parents results in better outcomes for adopted children.
“Continued contact provides children with ongoing knowledge of their origins, family history and important information to help chart the course of one’s identity formation," Debbie B. Riley and Ellen Singer write in the youth advocacy publication The Imprint. "As children grow developmentally, new information and understanding helps them to process who they are at different developmental stages. Continued contact can foster self-esteem by mitigating feelings of loss, rejection, self-blame and abandonment commonly experienced by youth in closed adoptions.
"Knowledge of birth parents offsets some children’s tendency to worry about their birth parents’ well-being. In addition, siblings separated by adoption can maintain relationships in open adoptions. It can take work, but by maintaining contact, adoptive and birth families can work together to address children’s many questions about their story.”
What is a closed adoption?
A closed adoption, or confidential adoption, is when there is no contact between birth parents and adoptive parents and only nonidentifiable information is shared, according to FindLaw. Once the adoptee is 18, some information can be obtained.
“Very rarely does a (birth mother) come to me and say she wants a closed adoption,” Riley said. In fact, only 5 percent of adoptions are fully closed in the United States.
In one instance Riley said she worked with a birth mother who initially said she did not want any contact with the adoptive family, but after meeting the family and getting to know them the mother realized that she did want pictures and letters. In another, the family was not open to visits, but after getting to know the birth mother, they thought visits from her would be a good thing.
It’s unlikely an adoption service would match a family if a birth mother says she wants to have scheduled visits when the adoptive parents don’t want that, Riley said. “It’s not going to be a good experience for everyone, so I have to make sure everyone is on the same page as far as what they’re expectations are prior to the birth of the baby, and what their expectations are contact-wise after the birth of the baby."
There’s no one way to do it, she advised. “I think you have to be prepared to have your expectations evolve.”
But keep in mind that every state has different adoption laws. California is one of 29 states and the District of Columbia that allow for written agreements between the birth mother and adoptive parents for after adoption contact, according to Child Welfare Information Gateway. Utah and Vermont only allow for agreements in foster adoption and Wisconsin only allows agreements when the child is adopted by stepparents or relatives. For closed adoptions, many states have avenues for birth parents to access some information, but it varies by state, according to FindLaw.
How much does adoption cost?
Riley tells families in California to expect the total cost of domestic adoption to be around $40,000. That includes the agency fee, attorney fees, home study, and birth mother expenses, which can be about $10,000. Independent adoption can cost a little less about $34,000, according to American Adoptions.
Foster care adoption, however, has little to no cost for parents. In both foster care and domestic adoption, parents can apply for financial aid, request employer assistance or get a tax credit, according to the Child Welfare Information Gateway.
For more information on Foster adoption, visit VoiceforAdoption.com
