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Once you’ve come to the decision to adopt, the actual process can feel overwhelming. Starting your adoptive family can be a thrilling, joyous, and rewarding journey, as well as a long, emotional, and complicated one.
The following steps will help guide you through initial steps to take before starting the actual adoption process.
Researching the adoption process
Adoption is indeed a complex subject, and there are numerous decisions you’ll need to make. There are many paths to take, and some possible pitfalls along the way. However, the more you learn about adoption in advance, the more confident you’ll feel about your readiness to make the choices that are right for you. When the time comes to begin more in-depth research, ChildWelfare.gov, a federal agency, has comprehensive information on adoption and their site is a valuable starting point.
Decide which kind of adoptive child will fit your family best
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Have you thought about the age, race, culture, or health of the child you will someday welcome into your family?
- AdoptiveFamilies.com offers insight on choosing among an infant, a toddler, or an older child.
- Are you considering adopting a child with special needs? SpecialNeedsAlliance.org shares their wise advice.
- Adopting a child from a race or culture that’s different from yours takes additional sensitivity, according to ChildWelfare.gov.
No matter the ultimate outcome, every adoption comes with unique challenges and rewards.
“Sometimes the beauty of an adoption lives side by side with the twists and turns it may take,” adoption expert and therapist Carolyn Berger, expressed on Path2Parenthood.org. “Often, we can go into it with a general idea of what we hope to find, knowing that we may become more flexible as the adoption process moves forward.”
Explore the different pathways to adoption
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Choosing who will help you facilitate the adoption is one of the most important decisions you’ll make. ChildWelfare.gov offers a detailed adoption fact sheet, which includes information and resources about adoption service providers for domestic and intercountry adoptions.
Domestic adoptions
- Public agencies, and private agencies contracted by public agencies, locate and prepare adoptive families to adopt children from foster care.
- In a licensed private agency adoption, birth parents relinquish their parental rights to an agency, and adoptive parents work with an agency to adopt. Agencies are required to adhere to licensing and procedural standards.
- In an independent adoption, attorneys assist prospective adoptive parents and birth parents with the adoption process, which usually involves the adoption of an infant.
- Adoptive placements by facilitators and unlicensed agencies offer the least amount of supervision and oversight. A facilitator is any person who links prospective adoptive parents with expectant birth mothers for a fee.
Intercountry adoptions
The placement process for intercountry adoption varies depending on the agency you choose and the child’s country of origin. In some cases, as a child becomes available for adoption, they will be matched by an adoption service provider with prospective parents who can meet that child’s needs. In other cases, families may choose a child either before or during a visit to the country.
Other aspects of the adoption process to keep in mind are whether you prefer an open or closed adoption, the laws pertaining to adoption in your state, and how to prepare for the adoption home study visit.
Consider the financial aspects of adoption
What are the costs of adoption? Depending on which kind of service you choose, adoption can be expensive. Some types of adoptions, such as through a public agency, cost much less than others. The costs of adoption can vary from minimal (if you’re adopting through the foster system) to more than $40,000 for an independent or intercountry adoption.
However, keep in mind that there are grants, loans, tax breaks, and employer benefits that can help make adoption more affordable — no matter the type of adoption you choose. But as adoptive mom Kristin Howerton told Mom.com, “Adoption is a blessing for children, but it is an equal blessing to parents. While it can be expensive, it is absolutely worth the sacrifice.”
Once you’ve educated yourself about starting the adoption process, what you’ve learned can help you make your dream come true. Because, after all, adoption is about creating a new family and bringing love into the world.
“I don’t ever look at my little girl and think of her as my adopted daughter,” adoptive mom Leah Campbell wrote on Mom.com. “I just think of her as mine. And I can’t imagine loving her any more than I do.”
