Amid the debut of her new Hulu documentary, Pretty Baby, actress Brooke Shields has been getting candid about what life was like growing up in the spotlight as a child model and how her motherhood journey had an incredibly rocky start. In an emotional new interview, she reveals that severe postpartum depression almost drove her to take her own life.
TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains information about suicide, which may be triggering to some.
Brooke recently appeared on Marc Maron's 'WTF' podcast
The mother of two has been on a publicity blitz for Pretty Baby over the past few weeks, which is how she ended up chatting with Marc. During the heartbreaking interview, Brooke described feeling disconnected after giving birth to her first daughter, Rowan, who she welcomed after seven IVF transfers.
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She said Rowan felt like 'a stranger' when she first brought her home
It seems a traumatic birth may have kicked off Brooke's PPD symptoms. "I lost so much blood when I gave birth to her and herniated my uterus," she recalled, according to Page Six. "It was just everything that could have gone wrong. I thought I was going to die. They were going to give me a hysterectomy."
Nobody knew what was going on in Brooke's mind when she was finally released from the hospital
Brooke's family was in the dark about her mental health struggles, and she said that their well-meaning advice only made things worse.
"I couldn't understand my mind. It's the worst. It's taking everything that made me who I am and absolutely ripping my legs out from under me," she explained. "You just feel so helpless and scared. I called the doctor and it was like, 'Oh, it's the baby blues.'"
Things came to a head when Brooke found herself having incredibly dark thoughts while driving on the freeway one day. "I thought I was going to drive my car into the wall on the 405," she said. "You see it [happening]. It has pictures. They rush — if you close your eyes — into your brain."
Finally, her doctor was able to pinpoint what Brooke was going through
"The doctor called me back and he said, 'I apologize for violating the patient-doctor privilege. I talked to my wife, who is a doula (offering emotional support through pregnancy and after birth), and she thinks that you are experiencing postpartum depression and would you take medication?' Of course I said no," Brooke continued.
Eventually, her family was able to convince her to begin treatment and that finally helped her break through her deep depression.
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But her recovery wasn't without its challenges
Although Brooke finally was able to bond with her daughter, she still carried some depression about what she went through and how it changed her relationship with Rowan.
"Her father came in, and he just went into dad mode. He had never held a baby before and now he was doing it," she recalled of the time when she was in the middle of her PPD battle.
"And they have a very strong relationship. I sort of beat myself up about that for a long time. I thought, 'You made them bond and you did this to yourself.'"
Brooke said her mental health is now in a much better place. We're so sorry to hear that she went through this, but glad she was able to access the help she needed. Hopefully by sharing her story, she can inspire other new parents to get help as well.
Note: If you or any of your loved ones are struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can always reach out to the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling 988. They are available 24/7 by phone or online chat.
