The Worst Parenting Advice Ever

Becoming a parent opens you up to all sorts of "helpful" suggestions. From close family members to total strangers, suddenly everyone knows exactly how you should be raising your kids. Sometimes slightly offbeat and sometimes completely off the wall, here are some of the worst pieces of parenting advice ever given to some of our favorite moms.

"An old man in the grocery store told me, 'Stop using such big words with your kids. They're not smart enough to get it.' Um, I was using the word 'disappointed' with a 4-year-old?"

– Ellen Williams, Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms

"'To avoid diaper rash, have your son go diaper-less.' He was 2 weeks old. Worse, I was a first-time mom, SO I LISTENED TO THIS. I lasted an hour before deciding potential diaper rash was a worthier risk than admission to a mental institution."

– Meredith Spidel, The Mom of the Year

"The worst? Someone once told me not to ever tell my children 'no.' That way they wouldn't learn the word 'no' and wouldn't repeat it constantly when they were toddlers. Needless to say, I did not follow this advice. Can you imagine your kid about to stick something into an electrical outlet and saying, 'Oh, um, I think we should make a different choice, sweetie!' Worst. Advice. Ever."

– Lisa Packer

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"'You need to have another baby to keep this one company.' Because that's a good enough reason."

(Yes, we're sure Baby No. 2 would be thrilled to hear that when she was older. "Well, sure we love you, but mostly you're just here to entertain your sister.")

– Brenna Jennings, Suburban Snapshots

"That I MUST get rid of my cats before the baby came because they would suffocate him when trying to drink the milk from his mouth. Really? Eli is almost 2 now, and I can assure you, they have never been close enough to even sniff the milk, let alone try to drink it. He likes to pull tails; they want nothing to do with him!"

– Mandy Craze

"First baby, first couple of months, from my mother-in-law: 'Try to relax more. Other moms seem more relaxed with their kids.' Sorry, just trying to keep this totally helpless person alive with zero help and no sleep.

Also, I love when people at the grocery store tell me, 'Looks like he needs a nap.' Um, no, he just had a nap, and we need food, so back off …"

– Mae Pascal

"'Don't pick him up right away when he cries. Let him try to soothe himself first.' He was a week old."

– Anna Luther, My Life and Kids

This one was shockingly prevalent:

"If your baby bites you, bite her back." – Kim Eller

"If your kid is a biter, return the favor and the kid will stop biting." – Tana Johnston

"Yeah, we got the same advice, and my 3-year-old still draws blood. I don't care how many times he bites, I'm not biting off a chunk of my kid's arm to 'teach him a lesson!'" – Jessica D'Pirate

"'Bite a biting #toddler back' — it was horrible. He just looked at me like, "Why would you hurt me? you are supposed to keep me safe!'" – @TheMeanMama

"'Keep the baby out of this wind; she will get gas' — from my sister's mother-in-law."

– Mary Graham

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"When my oldest was little, I was explaining to someone that she would not sit for a time out. An older woman butted in and said, 'Get a tall box, like one your refrigerator came in, and put her in there.' Nothing like scarring your kids for life. Needless to say, I never tried out her method."

– Jessica Watson, Four Plus An Angel

"'Twins are easier than one at a time because they have a built-in playmate/friend.' Um, yeah, but you have to survive long enough for them to be old enough to 'play' together and built-in playmate also means constant sparring partner!"

– Charity Houston

"'Always offer the child at least two choices so they don't feel powerless.' Ha, forget that, sometimes your choices are: 'Do as I've asked or go to time out!'"

– April Ray

"A preschool teacher told me, 'I'd appreciate it if you taught your daughter (who was 3) to NOT use the word *whispers and looks around to make sure nobody could hear her* vagina. We call it a 'down there' in this class.'"

– Leslie Marinelli, In the Powder Room

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"'Put a dab of whiskey on the pacifier to help with the sleeping.' I didn't take this advice, as I have too much pride to suck on a pacifier."

– Kerry Rossow, House TalkN

"'Sleep when the baby sleeps!' Haha. Do I also do laundry when the baby does laundry? Cook when the baby cooks? Dust and vacuum and entertain the 3-year-old when Baby does the same?"

– Sara Lintner

(In those early days, many of us definitely showered when the baby showered.)