Breastfeeding versus formula feeding is a question that every mother who can breastfeed must ask themselves. As with any major decision, we often turn to our friends and family for support and encouragement. This is oftentimes the case with all things parenting – we even get tons of unsolicited advice to use in our quest to be the best mothers we can be.
Breastfeeding in the Black community in particular has come with loads of baggage and advice
Historically, slave women were used as wet nurses as a status symbol of wealth for their owners, and that created a negative connotation with later generations. Once Black women were freed and more established, those who could afford baby formula were seen to be wealthier in their own communities.
When you add in the desire and need for women to enter the workforce to care for their babies and the detrimental attitudes passed from misinformed health messages, the state of Black women who breastfeed was destined to drop to an alarmingly low rate. According to Health Connect One, current statistics show that only 64% of African American mothers initiate breastfeeding compared with 81.5% of non-Hispanic white mothers and more than 81.9% of Hispanic mothers.
While organizations like La Leche League and the creation of Black Breastfeeding Week have made strides in educating women on their options, the stigma is a hard thing to get rid of in a culture where tradition, the expectations of our families, lack of support, and mistrust in the healthcare system are our greatest influencers.
We spoke to several Black moms about what it was like to try to breastfeed with no family support as well as to some fortunate mamas who had the opposite experience.
It becomes harder when your family doesn’t support you
“My family was not 100% on board. They believed I didn’t eat healthy enough to be able to give the baby what she needed. Made comments to others when they asked how I was doing that I was trying to ‘be white.’ After the three-month mark, I was constantly getting asked when I would be done or wean her off. I was told she wasn’t getting anything anymore. I tried educating them, but they always knew better than me. Breastfeeding was hard in the beginning because of the lack of support from the people I lived with. But, overall, I loved nursing. If I was to get pregnant again, I would do it as long as possible,” revealed mom of two Aysha Velazquez.
Another mom of two, Andrianna Clark, shared similar sentiments: “Unfortunately, my family (including my husband) was not very supportive. My husband thought it would make our son more spoiled and more attached to me. His lack of support was very emotionally challenging for me. I tried to explain to him that the benefits outweighed the possibility of him being spoiled or attached, but he didn’t really see it my way. When I got pregnant with our daughter, one of the first things he asked was about breastfeeding.”
“Although my parents never said it, I could tell they thought it was weird by the faces they would make when I was nursing my son. They also didn’t hesitate to ask when he was ‘getting off the boob’ as soon as my son turned one,” she said.
“It’s truly devastating that I still don’t have his full support, but here I am, one month strong nursing our newborn. And as long as I’m capable and able, I will continue to provide my children with nourishment from my body, because after all, that’s what my body is made to do!”
Many moms don't consider breastfeeding until they learn they're pregnant
“Just like many first-time moms, I downloaded every book and app I could get my hands on so I could get as much knowledge about motherhood. I didn’t arrive with the definitive decision to breastfeed until I watched The Business of Being Born by Ricki Lake. It encouraged me to take full autonomy over my body and to speak up to the medical staff that assisted me throughout my pregnancy. My husband was supportive. My Haitian parents were confused. Unfortunately, my parents and their Haitian culture never facilitated an open dialogue about many important life transitions such as womanhood, marriage, and motherhood. I’ve learned the most through experience,” said Francesca Hendrieth, a mom of four.
According to mom of three Ashley Buchanan, “I don’t recall ever really deciding. A nurse lifted my breast and popped it in her mouth. It seemed to work so I went with it. I breastfed her for about three months before my milk dried up. In hindsight, I was literally doing everything WRONG if I wanted to maintain a supply. My family and the child’s father were not supportive as far as breastfeeding. No one around me really had a ton of knowledge on breastfeeding either, not even older mothers.
“Later, I had two younger children. Breastfeeding my littles has been hard at times but mostly beautiful. I nursed my son for 19 months and plan to carry on with my 15-month-old until at least 2 years. Breastfeeding is hands-down one of the most special parts of motherhood to me,” she said. “I find it particularly sad how far we’ve gotten away from breastfeeding and the beauty of it. Formula got pushed so hard. Like me when I was young, so many women didn’t even know HOW to successfully breastfeed. Things are getting better. There are more resources available now compared with when I had my oldest. But we still have a ways to go.”
Luckily, not all Black women have a lack of support
Mom of two Kourtni Graves was one of the lucky ones. “It’s always been something I knew I would do. All of my family members with kids breastfed to my knowledge,” she shared. “I remember my mom breastfeeding my brother when I was little, and one of my close cousins also breastfed her son. I learned the true benefits as I got older, but I always thought it was just what you did when I had children.
“My family was very supportive. When I delivered my girls, they had trouble latching, and my mom and Grammy helped them latch. Family members and their dad would keep an eye on the girls so I could pump in peace. They were really encouraging and I’m appreciative of that.”
And mom of one Ket Simmons always knew her family had her back. “My family was very supportive about me breastfeeding. They didn’t know much about breastfeeding, but they supported my decision,” she said. “My mother even mentioned that, when I was born, breastfeeding wasn’t an option she was presented with. She wished it was.”
