You Can't Do It All
It's easy to come into motherhood with high expectations for yourself—you're going to be the best mom, grow your career, be the perfect wife, get in shape, start that business, travel, enjoy your hobbies and take care of your home. New moms: It's OK to adjust your expectations. You might only be able to focus on a few roles, to the exclusion of others. This isn't failure; this is being normal.
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Trust Your Instincts
Ever since you announced your pregnancy, strangers and friends alike have been giving you unsolicited advice. You might feel tempted to believe them, but you have to eventually learn to trust your instincts. No one knows your baby better than you.
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Milk Woes
Feeding your baby can be harder than you imagined. Pain, clogged ducts and insufficient supply are difficulties for many breastfeeding moms. Formula-feeding moms might have trouble finding the right formula, particularly with a sensitive baby, as well as have to constantly sanitize bottles, or fumble with scoops and kettles at 3 a.m. Be ready to tackle cluster feeding or acid reflux.
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About Face
If you were lucky enough to have a glowing pregnancy, you might forget about stocking up on your favorite skincare products. You'll want to have enough to last for the first months of motherhood. No new mom should have to run out of face wash or moisturizer. During those exhausting first weeks, simple comforts can mean the most.
MORE: 10 Things Your Don't Know About Infants
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You Can Ask for Help
Somehow, I got it into my mind that I had to do everything by myself. Between caring for the baby, cleaning and cooking, I was soon on the edge. But you know what? Being a good mom isn't about being a martyr; do ask for help. Taking a nap while a trusted relative hangs out with the baby, asking your spouse to pick up dinner on a tough day, or hiring a monthly cleaning service are all great ideas.
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Seize the (Quiet) Day
Life after the baby is better in a myriad of ways, but some things you'll miss. One of them is quiet. I wish someone had told me to read the books that I'd been meaning to read. If you don't, you end up having to put them off for at least a year—about the time needed for life to feel normal again. I found moments of peaceful silence were scarce as a new mom, and when I had one, I napped.
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Be Smart About Sleep
I was in labor for 15 hours. I got to hold my daughter at around 3 a.m. and then proceeded to be awake for most of the next day. My husband and I were so excited about being parents, we both stayed up with the baby those first few weeks. A smarter choice is to sleep in shifts. That way, you'll each feel better. New motherhood is a marathon, not a sprint.
MORE: Funny Pregnancy Stories From Real Moms
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Mom Friends Are Hard to Find
The ideal mom friend is a woman you'd like even if she didn't have a baby. So, don't beat yourself up if you leave the mommy-and-me group feeling like you don't belong. For new moms who are shy: Your babies are the perfect conversation starter. One or two good mom friends is all anyone really needs.
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You're More Than a Mom
The first months feel all-consuming, but you're still you. Don't forget to nourish the other parts of your identity. Giving yourself a break from motherhood isn't selfish, it makes you more balanced. Whether this means having your mom watch the baby for an evening or making plans to go back to school, caring for yourself is a way to care for your family.
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Err on the Side of Frugality
The baby care market is a multibillion dollar industry. You might want that new gadget, developmental toy or adorable baby outfit you come across, but you don't need any of these to be a good mom.
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