After my two previous babies were delightfully chubby, roly-poly infants that gave me pretty developed biceps from carting them around all day, I was surprised when my fifth baby turned out to be nothing like her older siblings.
Instead of chunky baby thighs and wrist rolls, my youngest daughter is a small, lean baby without a lot of extra chub on her. I attribute her smaller stature to the fact that she was born 5 weeks early and because of her ensuing NICU stay, never got the hang of breastfeeding, so she didn't have access to the all-you-can-eat buffet line that my other babies did.
No matter what the reason behind her smaller size is, I admit that after very chubby other babies, being on the other end of the spectrum has been a real eye-opener. I've been surprised by some of the comments that have bothered me as the mom of a small baby, such as the following.
'OMG, she's so tiny!'
Is she? I literally hadn't noticed — thank you so much for pointing it out!
Maybe I'm just sensitive because I desperately wanted to breastfeed her and I couldn't, and I still have some residual guilt, but for some reason, whenever anyone comments on how skinny my baby is, it feels like they are implying I somehow made her that way, like it's all my fault.
'She's so petite!'
On a related note, this is just a nice way of saying that you are shocked by how small my baby is, and, yes, we can see right through that. I get it — she's small.
'Wow, what does she eat?'
Well, clearly, I try to limit her calories so she doesn't get overweight. WHAT DO YOU THINK SHE EATS, KAREN? Babies have two things that they eat: formula or breast milk. Both are perfectly valid forms of nutrition, so what does it matter to you?
'Awww, my babies were all so chubby. I can't imagine having a baby so small!'
Awww, do you want a trophy? For some reason, despite the fact that I was previously one of those moms (and for that, I do apologize), this sort of statement now comes off as sort of braggy — like you're somehow a superior mom if your baby is nice and chubby, which is so not true.
It's been eye-opening how sensitive I can be about having a smaller-in-size baby, but it's also been a goood reminder that it's really never good practice to comment on the size of a baby.
If you really must comment on a baby's appearance, let's stick to what's safe. Like, "What a cute baby!" You just can't go wrong with that.
