What to Know
Being a stay-at-home mom has its perks. No work, for one thing. And, once the kids are a little older, it tends to get easier and easier, meaning you might even get to sleep in from time to time as a SAHM. But the one thing some moms and wives should consider with this role is the retirement benefits. Or, rather, the lack thereof. One mom, Courtney, whose TikTok video was shared on Reddit says in her post that she didn’t plan for a divorce and now, financially, she is in a pretty tight spot.
Maybe that’s even too nice of a way to put it. Honestly, judging by what she says in regards to finances, her husband has essentially cut her off and she is swimming without a life raft. She admits that she didn’t consider setting herself up for financial success after her marriage because she assumed her marriage wouldn’t end this way. Ladies, we always need a backup plan, exit strategy, or whatever else you want to call it. Consider this woman clear evidence of that.
She says she feels “like a little girl,” which is so jarring.
@cortneygetsfit I never thought I’d be here. 37 years old. Two kids. No income. No safety net. And suddenly being told I need to ‘use my own card’ when I don’t even HAVE one. This is the reality for so many stay-at-home moms — and nobody prepares us for it. Maybe this is why I’ve been drowning in anxiety and depression. But I’m sharing it because too many of us are suffering in silence. If you’re going through something similar, you’re not alone. We deserve security. We deserve support. We deserve to feel safe starting over. #sahm #womenempowerment #divorcesupport #mentalhealthmatters #momsoftiktok @Cortney Gets Fit ♬ original sound – Cortney Gets Fit
Courtney says in her TikTok that “no one prepares you for how financially vulnerable stay-at-home moms really are.” She also says that she has been a SAHM for more than 10 years, technically longer than she has been an actual mother. Now that her husband is moving forward with a divorce, she is realizing for the first time how detrimental it is to her own future to have been financially dependent on him for so long.
“I have no income, I have no money,” she says. “I use my husbands credit card and I use my husband’s money. And two weeks ago, he told me that he wants to move forward with divorce.” Now, she adds, he wants her to start paying her own credit card bills.
Mind you, she makes zero bucks a month plus benefits babe (calling all Office fans with that one).
When someone shared the video to Reddit, some users were quick to remind others that tradwives, or stereotypically traditional wives, are not all they are cracked up to be at the end of the day.
“Tradwives think feminism is a dirty word and ignore anything even remotely associated with the idea of independence,” one user commented on the thread.
Another added, “Funny, when women were fighting for their rights in the 20th century they told us this. They shouted this. By the way, being a stay at home dad makes you financially vulnerable too.”
Courtney also says in her video, “I feel like a little girl who needs their Mommy, because I don’t know how to take care of myself…It’s just terrifying.”
On TikTok, someone commented that SAHM and women who aspire to stay home instead of working have been warned over the years about the potential financial crisis they could face in the event that their marriage doesn’t work out. Take it from Courtney. This is a very real situation she is in and one that might not end well or easily for her.
“This is why I could never be a SAHM,” another user wrote in the comments. “Depending on someone else is risky.”
