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They say that potty training is more difficult with boys than with girls. The reason is that boys often require a two-step process to learn to pee. They’ll start with sitting and learning to position their penis and later transition to standing. But the reality is that every child is different and there will be unique challenges no matter what.
I remember starting my son on his potty training journey at around 20 months. He seemed to be doing well until my divorce started and we moved out. His pediatrician’s comment to me was that it was about control; the change in his home life made him feel less in control, so he would control what he could. I was assured he wouldn’t go to college in a diaper and he didn’t.
But this notion of control is confirmed by RN Sarah Johnson. ”Toddlers often fight toilet training because it gives them a feeling of being in control. Learning to use the bathroom coincides ith the developmental stage during which two and three-year-olds are starting to realize that they are individuals and not merely extensions of their parents,” she told Mom.com.
So with so much that seems to be working against you, how do you make that transition on how to potty train a boy? Here are our best tips on potty training boys.
When to potty train a boy
Starting at the right time is important because if your boy isn’t ready, he might resist it and the process could take even longer than if you waited, creating frustration and angst. Here are some things to keep in mind:
1. Average age for potty training a boy
Don’t try to potty train when your son is too young. It will only be more difficult. Most kids are ready for potty training between the ages of 22 and 24 months though some may not be ready until they are at least three years old. Don’t let peer pressure from other parents force you into potty training too soon.
2. Look for physical signs that your son is ready
One of the things you want to wait for is that your son is physically capable of starting potty training. You want to be sure that your child can walk to and sit on a toilet. He should also be able to pull his pants down and up to do his business. Additionally, your son should be able to stay dry for up to two hours giving you the opportunity to put him on a schedule.
3. Does he express interest?
It’s best to wait until your son is expressing interest in the toilet. This might mean he’s following you into the bathroom and intrigued by what you’re doing or he has an interest in wearing “big-kid” underwear. When they’re motivated, they will be more likely to jump into potty training without resistance.
How to start potty training boys
Being ready for potty training and actually starting are two different things. Don’t go to the potty war without arming yourself with the right tools.
4. Choose potty words
Heaven knows there are as many ways to describe our bodily fluids as there is sand in the ocean – okay, maybe not quite that much but there’s a lot. Decide how you’ll describe things, maybe “pee” and “poo” work for you. Whatever you do, don’t use negative terms like “dirty” or “stinky” that could create shame. These will be the words you son uses when he wants to communicate that he has to go.
5. Get the right equipment
Your son won’t be able to comfortably sit on the toilet when starting. This means having a potty chair where he can easily rest his feet on the floor will help the process. Keep the chair in the bathroom or in the area where he spends the most time. Allow him to sit on it, even with clothes on at first, to get used to being on it.
6. Get on a potty schedule
Your son should be able to hold for at least a couple hours, so you'll want to plan to have him sit on the potty every couple of hours. This will ideally catch him primed to pee or poo when you communicate that it’s time to go to the potty.
7. Start with sitting
Aim seems to be a problem for even the most adult boys (says every woman who has cleaned a bathroom for the family.) Don’t start with standing. Prepare for success by starting with peeing siting, and don’t move on to standing and aiming until your son has at least mastered sitting — and ideally is having no issues with pooing on the toilet.
8. Learn the signs
Every child gets a bit squirmy when they have to go to the potty. You’ll want to be vigilant about noticing the squatting or grabbing at their genital area. Make quick work about getting to the toilet before it’s too late.
9. Make it a positive experience
Use praise when your child is learning. Even if they don’t actually go to the potty, praise them for sitting on the toilet. Sit and read a book with them while they are on it. Do everything you can to make it a positive experience.
Out of the box thinking: Potty training a stubborn boy
Parents need to MacGyver just about everything — meaning nothing ever seems to go as planned, and we just need to roll with the punches. Here are some ways to think outside the box when potty training a stubborn boy.
10. Face him backwards
If your son is having trouble aiming, facing him backwards might give him a bit more stability as he leans forward. Mom Alice Anderson shared this trick she used for potty training her son. “Sitting presented challenges because he wanted to lean his body far forward while trying to aim down, but would fall off or make a mess," she told Mom.com. "We ended up having him sit facing the back of the toilet and it was a game changer!”
11. Look for resistance
Mom of two boys, Alexandra Shunk, told Mom.com that her youngest started off great but then “he went a few days without any bowel movements. We had a feeling he was holding it in.” She monitored things and noticed one evening in the bath that he was shivering, saying he was cold when she knew he wasn’t. She immediately picked him up and put him on the potty. “He immediately went and was so happy afterwards.”
12. Let them guide the journey
Jennifer Madsen is a mom of three with one little boy. She recommended to Mom.com to give him independence in the process. “Once he starts getting the hang of it, let him pick out his very own big boy underwear that he’ll get excited about.”
