Congratulations! You’ve given birth to your beautiful baby and you are totally in awe. Each passing day you navigate all the new and exciting ways your life has changed. Then, while you’re still wrapping your head around this whole parenthood thing, it hits you: “I haven’t finished my baby shower thank you cards!”
You start googling “Baby Shower Thank You Card Etiquette” and a sense of failure quickly sets in. Fear, regret, and anxiety suddenly take over and you start to panic.
Stop.
I’m here to tell you it’s OK to send thank you cards late. You just had a baby and it’s totally OK to focus on yourself and your family. Your community understands. (And anyone who doesn’t probably isn’t worth your energy to please!)
You should still try to get them done if you can — but don’t stress yourself out. Here are some tips to tackle the exhaustive list!
More from Mom.com: 13 Baby Shower Ideas for All Different Types of Families
Tip #1: Organize: Create a Google Doc
Hopefully you already have some form of tracker created before baby’s arrival (even if it’s just a handwritten list from the baby shower). I suggest converting this into a Google Doc, or other task management software, to help stay organized. Columns to add include:
- Name
- Address
- Gift(s)
- Thank You Card Copy (written text)
- Baby Shower Attendance (Y or N)
- Thank You Card Sent (Y or N)
It helps to start working on this before the baby arrives, but if you don’t get to it until after, that’s fine too!
Tip #2: Divide: Create Priority Buckets with Deadlines
Add another column to that Google Doc for priority and divide your guests into three unique categories.
Priority Bucket #1: The people who helped you while pregnant and will continue to support you and your new baby.
This includes your best friend who helped you plan your baby shower, friends/loved ones who drove you to third trimester appointments, and the neighbor who brought over a meal after you gave birth.
Set a deadline for this group, maybe within the first 1–2 months after birth.
Priority Bucket #2: Those who have supported you along the way, but are not involved in the day to day.
This bucket could include people like your aunt who lives nearby but doesn’t visit often, or your coworker you occasionally grab lunch with.
Set another deadline for this group, maybe within 3–4 months after birth.
Priority Bucket #3: Those you communicate with and see less often.
This category should consist of people like an uncle you see once a year during the holidays, an out-of-town-friend you wish you saw more of but don’t, and anyone else who hasn’t gotten a card yet.
Set a deadline for this group, maybe 5–6 months after birth.
At the 6-month mark, set a hold in your calendar titled “Last Call for Thank You Cards.” Don’t book anything else that weekend. Plan to pump out any remaining cards (including those you may have missed in the Priority Buckets #1 and #2).
Tip #3: Conquer: Address Being Late and Provide Details
It’s important to acknowledge how much time has passed and provide a personalized thank you note. Share your experience with all the gifts you (or baby) have had a chance to test out and relay your gratitude.
Here’s a template to get started:
“We can’t believe how quickly time has flown! [Insert baby name] is already 3 months old and growing like a weed! [He/She’s] been keeping us busy but we’re enjoying every minute and couldn’t be more in love. 🙂
We wanted to thank you for all the diapers you so generously gifted. They really came in handy during those early days when we hardly left the house. We wouldn’t have been able to get through those days without your generosity!
We also wanted to thank you for attending our baby shower. We loved having our family and friends gathered together and we’re so grateful you could join us.
We are so blessed to have you in our lives and can’t wait to introduce you to baby [Insert baby name]…”
You get the idea…
Bonus Tip: Be Proactive and Hand Out the Cards In Person During Baby Meet-and-Greets
I know this tip may be a bit controversial, but again, you are a new mom and who has the time, right?
Let’s say you schedule a baby meet-and-greet with someone on your list. Before the meeting, quickly reference your Google Doc to craft a personalized thank you card and give it to them in person.
You will probably meet up with at least a quarter of your baby shower attendees those first few months, so using this strategy can help whittle down your list and relieve some of the pressure of hitting your priority deadlines.
When All Else Fails:
Believe it or not, some people may hold a grudge if they don’t receive a thank you card. If you were unable to hit your deadlines and feel that way too much time has passed, know that it’s never too late — and a friendly phone call can go a long way toward keeping the peace.
Let them know how time-consuming life has been as a new mom. As much as finishing all your cards means to you, it’s been hard to find the time. You appreciate them being there for you and baby and are so grateful to have them in your life.
Again, if they are worthy of being part of your community, they will understand. Grudge begone!
You got this, mama!
