What Are Nesting Parties? The Perfect Baby Shower Alternative

Many, though not all, people who are pregnant will experience a desire to “nest” as their due date approaches. According to the American Pregnancy Association, nesting is “is the overwhelming desire to get your home ready for your new baby.” The Association said that it’s often a response to being tired of being pregnant for so long and eager for things to progress in some capacity. It also usually happens in anticipation of knowing that you’ll be a lot busier once the baby is there, and you’ll need to get things settled in advance.

Per the Pregnancy Association, nesting isn’t inherently harmful for a pregnant person to partake in. However, they should be cautious about lifting heavy items or cleaning with harsh chemicals. This is where a nesting party can come in handy. It’s essentially a pre-birth gathering at your house where friends and family help you clean, cook, assemble furniture, and assist with anything else you need to get done before the baby is born.

According to the New York Times, nesting parties have grown in popularity recently. Pinterest searches for the topic rose 205% from September 2022 to August 2024. The outlet reported that the trend harkens back to community events like barn raisings in Amish culture, where people would all come together to build somebody’s barn.

Physician and perinatal psychotherapist Dr. Jill Zechowy told The New York Times that this desire for community was likely strengthened following the isolation we all experienced in 2020. 

Instead of a baby shower, you could choose to just have a nesting party. But there’s no reason not to have both if you’d like. In fact, TikToker @camifrobabe had her nesting party shortly after the baby shower to help organize all the gifts received at the first party. Her loved ones helped wash and put away all the new clothes, sanitize new bottles, etc.

However, a nesting party can easily replace a baby shower if this is your second or third pregnancy. Maybe you already have most of the items you need, so you don’t need a traditional party. But it would probably be helpful to have some people help you get ready for the new baby. Especially if you already have little ones, and they’re likely making it more difficult to get things done on your own.

If you do have a baby shower, holding the nesting party afterward is probably the best bet. Otherwise, you can do it anytime during the final trimester that works for you. Per videos shared on TikTok, it seems most moms choose to have the party between 32 and 38 weeks, just so it all gets done before the baby arrives.

Unlike a baby shower, where you can invite a mix of close friends, acquaintances, neighbors, coworkers, etc., a nesting party should be more intimate. Because you’ll be asking the guests to assist with chores, it’s probably best to invite only those you’re closest with, like family members and best friends.

Guests at a nesting party are helping by showing up and putting in hard work. They don’t need to buy gifts — especially if you already had a baby shower. But you can ask attendees to bring a freezer meal for you to have post-birth. That’s what TikToker @thehughescasa did, and it seems like it worked out really well for her.

Etsy sells various digital downloads if you need help building your nesting party to-do list. But some sample chore ideas could be washing the baby’s clothes, sanitizing bottles, making “padsicles,” assembling nursery furniture, prepping meals, installing the car seat, and more. You can assign tasks to people or just let everyone tackle the projects they feel they’ll excel at.

Having refreshments available for your hardworking guests is always a good plan. Maybe place a coffee order for everyone if you’re getting an early start. Teas, sodas, and juices are also always a hit. You can also provide alcoholic beverages for your guests to celebrate a successful event.

As TikToker @mrsnancyglo said, “You can’t nest on an empty stomach.” For morning parties, you can pick up pastries like donuts or bagels at the same place you’re getting coffee. You can also make a fast-food run or set out easy snacks like a charcuterie board, chips and salsa, etc. It doesn’t have to be fancy, just something to get you all through the day.

Dr. Zechowy also told The New York Times that nesting parties shouldn’t come without some basic etiquette. “I wouldn’t ask somebody to do anything that you wouldn’t do at their home, and I think it really shouldn’t be about drudgery,” Dr. Zechowy said. “It should be things that people will feel good about doing and not taken advantage of.”

This is where inviting loved ones comes in clutch because if they’re your closest friends and family members, they won’t mind helping out.

Even if a nesting party sounds great in theory, it may be tough to ask for that help. Many of us feel like we need to do everything ourselves so as not to “inconvenience” anybody. But it indeed takes a village to raise a child. And we can’t build that village if we’re never willing to ask for and accept help.

Think about it this way — would you help them if they were the ones who were pregnant? If the answer is yes, it’s probably safe to assume they would be happy to help you.

But if you’re struggling with the concept, you could always have your mom or a sibling “host” the party on your behalf.

If you’d like to provide a small token of your gratitude, you could get your guests a small gift. Etsy sells nesting party “thank you” candles, Amazon sells bundles of hand cream and lip balm, and even just a card could go a long way. No pressure, of course, since the point of the nesting party is to take things off your plate.

Overall, a nesting party shouldn’t have any of the pressure associated with a gender reveal or baby shower. You don’t need a theme or a balloon arch or fancy hors d’oeuvres or a Pinterest-worthy outfit. You just need your best buddies, some time, and a can-do attitude.