Hi, my name is Darcy. I’m a mom of two and I have baby fever. Am I crazy for wanting another baby right now? Probably, but I still have baby fever. You know what that means, right? Time to load up on ovulation test kits and pregnancy tests!
Wait, let me back up a moment.
My husband and I talked about having two children while we were dating. Two sounded perfect back then. However, when I close my eyes and imagine the future, I see a home full of love, life and kids. Only two of the faces are recognizable—the faces of my daughter and my son. The exact number of those children has changed over time, wavering from two to three to four.
But it’s usually three.
There was a time a few years ago when we weren’t sure if we could have any children. My cycles were all over the place and it took three years of trying before we conceived our daughter. We went through testing and never really knowing when I was ovulating. We were literally shooting in the dark without much assistance. I didn’t know much about my fertility and clearly knew less about my body than I thought I did. My OB at the time wasn’t very helpful. She just kept telling me to have more sex. When my period would disappear for four months and all the tests were negative, she’d prescribe something to force me to menstruate.
I love my kids. I love my family, but I don't feel like we are complete yet.
It was confusing and emotional. Then one day I received a phone call about a prescription for Clomid ready for pick up. I got irritated. How dare my OB prescribe fertility treatment without having an appointment with both my husband and I? Sure, she mentioned it to me, but I didn’t know what to do next. I longed for guidance. For help. For something more personal.
We took a break from trying to conceive while I considered finding a new doctor. Well, we continued having sex but we stopped focusing on the actual baby-making part. A friend who was also struggling to conceive referred me to her doctor. I tucked the phone number away for a couple weeks because I wasn’t feeling well. I was so exhausted and nauseous. I blamed it on stress at work until my breasts became incredibly tender.
My boobs had never hurt while I was sick or stressed before.
To our surprise, we were finally pregnant! My last period came in early December and it was now the beginning of March. With my wacky cycles, I had no idea if I was late or not.
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We already knew we wanted a second child, so the decision to start trying shortly after my daughter turned one was easy. Knowing how long it took the first time, we figured it would take awhile. My body must have finally figured out what to do though, because we conceived my son within one month of actively trying.
Having two children under the age of four has its own set of blessings and challenges. During my second pregnancy, I was already entertaining the idea of having a third. Throughout his first year, I started to think I was crazy to add another little person to our family.
Right now, my husband and I can divide and conquer when these two are being unruly. It’s pretty manageable to get around town solo with the kids, too, but it feels like someone is missing. Apparently my daughter feels the same way, since she recently started asking for a baby sister!
I still question my sanity at times, but the thought of a third baby has never completely left my heart and mind. I love my kids. I love my family, but I don't feel like we are complete yet. Something about three feels right. The thought of getting pregnant again and bringing another sweet baby into our lives makes me happy. A little scared, but happy.
Now that we’ve agreed that three is our magic number, it’s time to start trying to conceive again. I wonder how long it will take this time?
