“Pregnancy is natural, normal, healthy, and safe for me and my baby. My baby is healthy and safe inside me now. I am completely cooperating with my body as I nurture my baby….”
These are the first words in the “Joyful Pregnancy Affirmations” track from the Hypnobabies learning course. The idea of the affirmations is to help soon-to-be mothers approach labor with a “positive attitude.” Hypnobabies, and hypnobirthing in general, is so focused on positive attitude that the program even discourages the use of words like “labor” and “contractions” — which tend to have negative connotations — opting for words like “birthing time” and “pressure waves.”
In my final weeks of pregnancy, I found myself listening to these hypnobirthing affirmations every day, along with not one but two 30- 40-minute hypnosis tracks. In addition, I spent a few hours each week completing the online course, learning about things like the “finger drop” technique and spinning baby exercises.
I’ve never been a hippie-dippie, crystal-wearing kind of gal, so how did I get here?
I have always felt most comfortable being in control. I have no problem deciding where to eat or what to watch; and when I was single, I frequently made the first move — in fact, I was the one who asked my husband out on a date.
When I was pregnant, I realized that the idea of voluntarily giving up control of half my body by getting an epidural made me uneasy. Of course, I understand that epidurals are completely safe, and in fact normal for childbirth. And I know that with the wide range of potential unexpected complications that can happen during labor, you can never fully have control of your experience. Still, I know that for me, personally, I wanted to give myself another option.
So I looked into alternative methods, discovering hypnobirthing and the practice’s can-do attitude when it comes to childbirth. The underlying principle is fairly simple: Adrenaline and cortisol can be detrimental to a smooth labor, and hypnosis can keep you relaxed through pregnancy and childbirth. The hypnosis itself is meant to keep the birthing person in a “deeply relaxed” state. In fact, the actual hypnobirthing book promises pain-free childbirth while in this state (though I was always skeptical of this).
I quickly fell in love with this idea of using my mind to gain autonomy over my birthing experience, but I hesitated to dive into the actual practice.
I learned through further research that hypnosis is not an unfamiliar state of being. The state of hypnosis occurs between consciousness and unconsciousness, where habits are formed, and it occurs naturally many times every day.
For example, if you drive somewhere without thinking about how you’re getting there, you’re in a state of hypnosis. When you’re in this state, your mind and body are relaxed, but your mind is also hyper-focused. The world around you falls away, and you experience time differently. Hypnosis is always voluntary and the person undergoing hypnosis is always in control. The practice of hypnotherapy simply leverages this state of being so that you can form new habits and so that your mind can reconfigure itself into a new perspective.
When I first started doing the Hypnobabies’ hypnosis tracks, I was convinced that I was falling asleep every time. I would get into a state of feeling heavy and yet like I was floating at the same time before falling asleep, then wake up when the hypnosis track was ending and not remember a single thing from it. I then learned that feeling as though you’re asleep is one way of experiencing hypnosis.
After just a couple of nights, I could see a change.
I was sleeping way better. After doing the hypnosis, I discovered that I slept more soundly and somehow felt more awake and refreshed after fewer hours of sleep. Before, I traditionally needed nine hours of sleep to feel rested, but now I needed only seven to feel like I had a full night’s sleep.
In addition, my general anxieties about going into labor and having a baby went away. I felt much more calm and in touch with my intuition.
Around this time, I started telling people about my choice to do hypnobirthing.
The journey to childbirth is full of judgment, and just my decision for a natural childbirth was met with a lot of people telling me I was crazy, along with many who insisted I would wind up getting an epidural. Telling people that I was planning on accompanying my unmedicated birthing with hypnosis added a whole new layer of judgment. I got incredulous blank stares and comments of “concern.”
I could feel myself shying away from the topic. Was I really being crazy? Were my wants and needs unrealistic?
Luckily for me, part of the Hypnobabies training is to shut down negativity. Hypnobabies gives a specific technique to keep it at bay, and even goes so far as to tell moms-to-be not to watch any film or television depiction of childbirth because it’s always negative (which I was surprised to realize was true).
Still, there were some aspects of the Hypnobabies learning course and hypnobirthing in general that I did not subscribe to. While I was trying to learn everything I could about labor from multiple sources, Hypnobabies discourages learning about labor through other labor courses due to possible negative messaging. Hypnobabies also encourages fetal movement monitoring in the womb, which I found to be a stressful practice. In addition, Hypnobabies discourages movement during labor in order to be in a more focused state, while movement is known to help speed up labor.
I ended up curating my own practice in order to fit my needs for pregnancy and birth.
So at 5 a.m., 39 weeks and four days into my pregnancy, I felt confident and calm when I started having contractions. With my husband by my side, I listened to the hypnosis tracks. I was never for a moment stressed or overwhelmed by the intensity of what I was experiencing.
For the first 13 and a half hours, I labored at home, switching between hypnosis tracks, movements with my doula, and hopping in the shower (which relieves pain and speeds up labor). One down side of the Hypnobabies tracks, however, is that the tracks designated for the day of labor last a total of two to three hours. It says to pick and choose what to repeat, but I was definitely craving more structure when it came to the progression of early to active labor as the contractions became more frequent and intense.
Just before we left for the hospital, while I was in the shower, my contractions jumped from every eight minutes to every three minutes and became very intense. I knew it was time to go, but my doula was surprised to see that even at this stage I was still giggling with my husband between contractions. When we got to the hospital, I was eight and half centimeters dilated and had started the phase of transition (the phase between active labor and pushing).
At this point, I was so deep into labor that the idea of orchestrating setting up the Hypnobabies tracks in the delivery room was basically impossible. Even answering simple questions from the nurses was difficult. While early labor and active labor were manageable, what could have been categorized as intensity now gave way to real pain and all I could focus on was getting my baby earth-side.
Still, I could feel the impact of the hypnosis tracks. I remained positive and calm. While I’ve heard about several women who’ve gone through unmedicated childbirth coming to a point when they think, “I can’t do this anymore,” the thought never entered my mind. Instead, my thoughts were along the lines of “Wow, nothing could have prepared me for these sensations,” and “How much longer do we got?”
After two more hours of labor in the hospital, my beautiful son was born. I later learned that while I remained calm and stress-free, I was completely unaware that my husband was freaking out and fielding panicked texts from my mom about possible birth complications. Surrounded by chaos and doubt, I managed to make this experience my own.
I am so happy and grateful with how the birth of my child turned out.
I am very lucky to have been able to have the birth that I planned for. Still, when I contemplate the next time I give birth, I am honestly not sure if I will end up going the same route again. For one thing, the hypnobirthing classes and hypnosis sessions are very time-consuming and I’m a busy mom now!
What made hypnobirthing so special and so powerful for me and for this birth is that I got to choose it and make it my own so that I could have autonomy over my experience. It’s very easy to get lost in the contradictions and fear-mongering that so predominantly surround childbirth, but at the end of the day, this is your body and your baby’s body. And though it may seem contradictory, choosing hypnosis allowed me to feel empowered and in touch with both. No matter what you end up deciding for your birth, what’s most important is that you get to have a say. Epidural or not, the best birth plan is the one you choose yourself.
*Disclaimer: The advice on Mom.com is not a substitute for consultation with a medical professional or treatment for a specific condition. You should not use this information to diagnose or treat a health problem without consulting a qualified professional. Please contact your health-care provider with questions and concerns.
