You’d think I’d be less scared to have a baby the second time around. I already know what labor and delivery feel like, how to care for a newborn and that my life will never be the same. I’m not a true veteran like Michelle Duggar, but at least I’ve done this before.
Unfortunately, when it comes to juggling a helpless new baby with an older child (whom I predict will be pissed-off and needy), I’m a clueless first-timer. Here’s why I’m scared:
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If you looked up “choking hazard” in the dictionary, you’d see a picture of my 4-year-old’s toy collection. The Lite Bright set alone is more dangerous than a loaded gun. Don’t get me started on the Legos.
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My daughter might make good on her threat to “hide the baby in the closet” or “carry her upstairs all by myself.” I don’t need a baby monitor—I need to put a cowbell on my big girl so I can always hear her coming.
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I really got used to having alone time during preschool hours. I probably won’t have alone time again for three years. My sanity feels sad about this.
So when exactly do I sleep? Is 2017 a good guess?
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Instead of sleeping when the baby sleeps, I imagine I’ll be giving my preschooler a much-needed dose of one-on-one “mommy time.” So when exactly do I sleep? Is 2017 a good guess?
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I like to think that I remember what sleep deprivation feels like, but I bet actual sleep deprivation is going to shock me silly.
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I do remember how scary the early post-birth trips to the bathroom can be, and I’m not excited to have an audience for the bloody horror show. Since my daughter has never not followed me into the bathroom, I guess I’ll have some 'splaining to do.
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The 4-year-old needs a parent to lay with her every night until she falls asleep. The baby will be nursing on demand. If my husband ever has to work late, I’m toast.
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The plan is for the baby and the big kid to eventually share a room. Of course, this might fail totally, and then I’ll have two kids who aren’t sleeping. Should I revise my estimate to 2019?
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My 4-year-old will almost certainly practice her gymnastics by stage diving from her twin bed into the crib.
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I kept my firstborn away from screens for two solid years before unleashing Nick Jr. and the Disney Channel. I fear this baby’s first words will be “Swiper, no swiping!” Come to think of it, that's great advice for the 4-year-old.
