A mom on Reddit is asking the internet if she is wrong for refusing to change the name of her 4-month-old baby at her sister-in-law's request. The woman says her SIL told her too late that the name chosen for the baby girl was the same she had given to her daughter who was stillborn. But not only was the child from a previous relationship, she waited four months to say anything.
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The new mom wrote that she and her husband had chosen to name their daughter Ember. "My husband and I both loved her name and that’s how it was chosen. We announced the day she was born and nobody said anything negative or gave a reason for us not to use it then," she explained. Things suddenly changed shortly before she made the post.
She went on to say that three days prior to her post, her SIL, who is married to her brother, "sat me down and asked me to change the name because it’s the name of her stillborn daughter she had with her ex-husband seven years ago." Her SIL "tried to keep it quiet," but claimed that the name was "such a painful reminder for her." The sister-in-law then said "she really feels like we should change her name." Naturally, the woman refused since her daughter is already four months and "it would cost us to change it" on her birth certificate.
The woman talked about the predicament with her husband, who agreed that they wouldn't change the name. "He told me it seemed like a weak excuse to wait four, almost five months, to tell us, when she had the chance long before this," she wrote.
Also on the mom's side? Her brother. "He reached out and told me she mentioned it to him two months ago and that she was battling with asking us to change the name since," she explained. "But he understands why I said no and supports the decision."
"Yesterday she reached out to me again and asked me if we had decided on a new name yet, and I told her my answer is still no," the woman continued.
Apparently, the SIL "became very angry very quickly and told me if she had lost my niece my response would be different, and I should see this as her losing my niece because she would have been if she were alive." And she didn't stop there. "She also told me my daughter is going to grow up always hearing about the cousin I gave her the same name as and that I should reconsider before burdening my daughter with that. She told me a good person with good morals would."
Commenters on Reddit supported the mom in her choice not to change her baby's name.
"I understand it being painful for her. But she needs to go to therapy if it’s still hurting her this bad. You shouldn’t have to change your babies name. Not the a—–e," one person wrote.
"NTA, stick to your guns and encourage your SIL to seek therapy for her pregnancy loss. This is not on you guys it's solely on your SIL, not copping with her own grief," another person commented.
"NTA. Ember is going to grow up hearing about aunt's stillborn baby only if aunt brings up the subject. I'd say limiting contact with the aunt is entirely appropriate," someone else wrote.
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