Each year, countless essays pop up about "what moms REALLY want for Mother's Day", and usually they're a different version of the same old story. We want to sleep in. We want everyone to get along. We want to have ONE DAY where we don't have to plan a single thing or break up a fight or be responsible for making breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
( … Sound familiar?)
But this year, Kristen Bell has managed to articulate an aspect of the annual Mother's Day dilemma that moms everywhere secretly pine for but are often too afraid to ask: We want to be left alone.
Bell opened up about her Mother's Day wishes to E! News a few weeks ago
"I want to go somewhere where none of my family is," the actress bluntly shared, while walking the red carpet at the Funny Girl premiere in New York City.
And while that might sound a bit harsh at first read, Bell insisted it's nothing personal.
It's not as though she resents motherhood
In fact, Bell has been pretty vocal over the years about just how much she adores her two girls, Lincoln 9, and Delta, 7, despite the many challenges that parenthood has brought her way.
She also genuinely loves spending time with her daughters, whom she sees "all the time."
But you see, that's precisely why Mother's Day feels like it should be a much-needed break amid the everyday chaos.
After all, isn't that how Father's Day works?
Bell actually called this fun little "double standard" out in her red carpet interview, during which she credited her husband, Dax Shepard, with opening her eyes to it all.
"My husband says there's such a double standard where dads go golf all day and go to dinner, and moms are supposed to be served by the 3-year old all day and like watercolor with them," the actress shared.
(OH, THE ACCURACY … )
These days, Bell rejects that narrative entirely
"No, I do a dads-style Mother's Day," the 41-year-old said, before describing her ideal day in five simple words: "Leave me alone, I'm out."
Honestly, though, can you blame her?
Moms with multiple young kids at home have always been going through it. But thanks to the pandemic, they've been hanging on by a thread for more than two years now.
A lot of this has to do with the fact that moms tend to be the "default parent" in most American households, regardless of marital status. In fact, according to one survey by UrbanSitter, roughly 53 percent of moms were considered the primary caregiver in their homes.
For those who work, this can be especially stressful. The same survey found that working moms are 28 percent more likely to experience burnout than working dads. (By the end of 2020, roughly 9.8 million of them reported they were suffering from burnout.)
But even for those who don't work (or don't work full-time), the stress of raising kids and maintaining a household can be unbearable at times, since the division of labor is often uneven.
After sharing her honest thoughts, a lot of moms seemed to agree
In fact, many of them chimed in on social media, where they admitted that they have felt the same way for years.
"That’s me!" wrote one mom on Instagram. "I don’t demand attention from my children! I hope you enjoyed your day!"
"This," another person added. "My husband left me alone and told our daughter if she needs anything don't bother me to ask him. I was lazy all day."
"That's what I did," someone else wrote. "Café, massage, shopping, all alone, wonderful day!"
Quite a few people said that their "perfect" Mother's Day is also kid-free
"I say this every year!" wrote one mom. "I JUST WANT A DAY WITHOUT KIDS ON MY MOTHER'S DAY!"
A lot of women said they use the day to either get some much-needed alone time or to hang out with the other women in their lives who feed their soul, including their moms, best friends, and sisters.
"Heck yes!" wrote one Instagrammer. "I went out with my mom and sister today – we went plant shopping, regular shopping, followed by lunch and drinks! Mamas gotta treat themselves! Leave the kids behind."
"Same!" added another. "My sister and I went to the Phillies game!"
That said, they still catch some eye rolls for this at times
But hey, unsolicited judgment comes with the territory of motherhood, doesn't it?
"I’ve done that for the past 35 years," one mother shared. "I’m really fine with being called selfish after asking for one day off after 364 24-hour days … "
It's true; while some people's knee-jerk reaction to spending Mother's Day alone could be harsh, plenty of women said that this "secret" desire of theirs actually stems from a place of self-preservation more than anything.
"I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME," one mom confessed, adding that she always thought "all the GOOD moms wanted to spend the day with their kids."
"I felt so guilty that I just wanna sit with my wine and stare at a wall … "
At the end of the day, isn't honoring the work of mothers the whole point of Mother's Day in the first place? For some of us, that may mean getting the much-needed break we deserve to sit still, take a load off, and do absolutely nothing for a change.
(Sounds pretty incredible, huh?)
