It's no secret that having kids is expensive no matter where you live. But one British mom definitely wasn't prepared for some of the staggering costs she'd be hit with when she started raising her two kids in the US. In fact, her stunned reaction to the jaw-droping costs of US child care is now going viral on TikTok, where thousands of people are weighing in.
The TikTok was originally shared last month by Caroline Parker-Greene (@mummysflippinhouse)
In it, the stay-at-home "mum" explains that after recently starting her own business, she began looking into day care options for her two small kids. Because she only wanted to send them a few days a week, Caroline assumed it wouldn't be too pricey.
Turns out, she was in for a rude awakening …
@mummysflippinhouse Unlocking new things being a brit in the usa #momof2 #momtok #daycare ♬ original sound – Mummysflippinhouse
Ultimately, the mom was told it would cost $2,200 for her son to attend the program, and an extra $1,800 for her daughter to go, too. (And yes — this was only for part-time care.)
Needless to say, the mom of two was shocked
"For a lot of people, your child care in the $3,000s … " says Caroline. So, "What is the point of going to work when you’re only making $500 over that?"
Suddenly, it became glaringly clear to her why so many American mothers choose to stay at home instead of heading back to work, as most UK moms tend to do.
“The words … I’m trying to pick them wisely," she says in the video. But instead, she just blurts the out: "No wonder so many women are SAHMs in America."
Now, she gets it — she really, really *gets it*
If Caroline was raising her kids back home in the UK, she'd have access to a wide range of government benefits. Not only are UK parents with kids ages 2 to 4 years old eligible for up to 15 hours of free child care per week (depending on their income), but having kids under 3 also gives them a 2.5% tax relief.
But here in the US, she gets none of that support
"My child will not go to school for free until she is 6 years old," the mother shares. "So does that mean that I just won’t … like, will I be able to work?"
Honestly, it's a fair question — one that many American mothers ask themselves on a daily basis.
For one thing, the US is the only developed nation in the world without a national program for paid family leave, even though American voters have wanted this for years. And while other wealthy nations spend an average of $14,000 each year (per child) on early education and child care, the US government only spends $500, according to a recent report by The Atlantic.
Then there's the staggering costs of merely giving birth in America. The average cost of a vaginal birth $13,024, whereas the cost of a C-section can run you upwards of $22,000. Health insurance plans can — and often do — foot the majority of this bill, but the coverage depends on an individual's plan and whether or not they even have health insurance to begin with. (It's estimated that roughly 31.6 million Americans do not.)
Of course, none of this gets into the costs of simply feeding, clothing, and providing a roof over your child's head — which, thanks to inflation and the economic impacts of the pandemic, will also cost you a pretty penny in the US these days.
So … is it really any wonder why American parents are struggling?
The TikToker says it seems pretty obvious where the cracks in the system are. It also seems clear why a generation of American women have been giving up their jobs, staying home to raise their kids, and becoming increasingly depressed as a result.
While studies have long shown that low-income, stay-at-home moms suffer most from depression, these rates have only increased since the onset of the pandemic, and they don't appear to be getting better anytime soon.
Since posting her TikTok, thousands of replies have flooded in
"Welcome to America baby," wrote one person. "It’s about surviving not thriving."
"No quality of life here," Caroline wrote in reply. "It’s wild. I’m convinced this country hates women … "
In fact, a lot of people commented on the catch-22 that SAHMs/working moms face.
"Many women work for insurance and childcare," explained one working mom. "Basically, my entire paycheck goes to those two things!"
"Also, if you don’t work until your kids are grown, how are you supposed to get back into a successful career for the next 30 years of your life?" asked someone else.
Other TikTokers shared their own stressful experiences looking into day care.
"We were quoted $5k a month for 3 HALF DAYS a week for two toddlers," said one mom. "I can’t afford TO WORK."
"RN here and I stay home bc I wouldn’t bring home enough to make it worth it after day care!!" added another.
"They charge that much and the staff still only gets paid minimum wage," someone else pointed out.
Several ex-pats living in the US also expressed their shock over all of this
"I’m Irish, I live in Miami," wrote one mom. "We are currently exploring the idea of moving home. No formula, school shootings, diapers ridiculous."
"Honey, we’re all working on our escape plan," added someone else.
There were also plenty of comments from people who are childless by choice, precisely for these very reasons.
"And they wonder why so many of us are choosing not to have kids …," added one person.
Another admitted that they grow "more confused" by the day as to how people are able to raise kids in the US — let alone why they'd want them, considering the current state of things.
"You deserve better than this," they declared. And honestly, that's a sentiment that American parents are feeling more than ever right now.
