Listen, divorce not only takes its toll on your family, finances, and mental health, it can also put your self-confidence though the ringer.
One of the things that continued to pull me out of my dark moods as I was navigating my way through a divorce of my own were the constant reminders from family and friends to invest in myself, even if I didn't think I could find the time.
Don't let guilt seep in
Although the thought of getting a pedicure, going for a long run, or going to therapy made me feel guilty — these investments take time and money — I tried really hard not to let myself down in this way. And, honestly, it has paid off big time.
We all know how true the old saying is about putting on your oxygen mask first before helping anyone else. That's never more true than when you're going through a separation.
If you're going through a divorce or currently separated and feel you need a nudge to get back on track with yourself, you’re going to want to tune in to this week's episode of Splitting Upward.
The resource all moms need
I was giddy listening to Lauren Dimet Waters, co-founder and editor-in-chief of the lifestyle and beauty blog Fountain of 30, and I'm recommending this episode to all my mom friends regardless of their marital status. We all need a reminder to stop every once in a while and make sure we're being taken care of. No one can accomplish that like we can.
If you haven’t yet, check out her blog. It’s chockful of advice to keep you feeling like your best self, along with tips on fashion, beauty, home, and self-care.
According to Waters, the site is about committing to self-care, "growing younger," and feeling good about yourself at any age.
How do we not feel less-than?
Later on in the podcast, co-host Jesenia made an insightful point we all can relate to: Society can take women down and make us feel less-than — especially when it comes to our looks. I felt divorce made these feelings even worse for me.
*How could I let another man see my body after having 3 kids? *
*Will I ever have a second chance at love? *
How will I manage it all: kids, home, work, friends, and romance?
I certainly didn't look the way I did in my 20s when I met and married my first husband, which I think is a common thought that probably goes through the mind of every woman after their marriage ends. But how do we fight against such self-hating thoughts?
Be what you want people to see
"You have to project what you want people to feel about you," says Waters. "If you want to be confident, you have to project confidence. Even though you may not feel it inside, you just need to walk in a room and own it."
And the first step toward that is taking care of yourself. Whether it's getting a new haircut or investing in therapy or finding a gym, this is your reminder that it's all OK. You're worth it. Most importantly, make sure you surround yourself with people that constantly tell you this.
While it's easier said than done, there are resources out there (like Fountain of 30) to help us achieve a newfound sense of self.
Never feel like your glory days are in the rearview mirror. This new chapter of your life is just getting started — and it's going to be better than ever.
Listen to Episode 13 of Splitting Upward:
