Since the Splitting Upward podcast launched a few weeks ago, it’s definitely been inspiring me and my divorced mom friends. Even one of my besties, who’s still happily married, loved this week’s episode with former boxer Laila Ali. The theme was all about starting over and I think that's something we can all relate to, whether you're a newly separated mom or a married new mom who has decided to quit her job to stay at home (i.e., my BFF).
Laila talks about the struggle of quitting something you know to start something you don’t and how in order to do that, we have to reinvent ourselves.
Even if you're excited, let’s face it — this can be scary.
Since my divorce a few years ago, I’ve had to do some things I never would have if I was still married. Things like learning to shut off a water line and take a trip with my kids solo.
I didn’t know when my ex moved out how much taking on these tasks would change me. At the time, I was too scared to think that far into the future and told myself to just stay about the moment I was in. I knew I’d be challenged in ways I never had before and all I could do was my best.
In a second, I became the only adult in the house. If something broke, I had to figure out how to fix it. If my kids were acting up, there wasn’t anyone there to lean on.
I had to put myself out there and go on dates. I had to learn how to spend time alone. I had to learn how to forgive myself when I screwed up — which was often.
I’m not the same person I was when I signed those papers. I now manage stress better. Doing all the housework myself doesn’t seem as arduous as it once did. I’ve discovered how good I am with money and there’s no need to stress out over little things that won’t even matter in a week.
I reinvented myself, not really by choice, but out of necessity. My journey isn’t over and it wasn’t free of tears or wanting to give up, but I'm thankful for all of it.
Whether you are married, divorced, a new mom, or changing careers, change is scary. No one likes the discomfort it brings. However, when you believe you are capable — and you so are — and wait for it, you will look back and be so happy you did the hard thing which made you the person you are today.
Listen to Episode 5 of Splitting Upward:
