Why I’m Never Going Back on the Birth Control Pill Even Though I’m Done Having Kids

When I got married, going on the birth control pill seemed like the logical choice. We were only 22 and were not planning on having children for some time. The other factor was that my cycles had always been a bit irregular. I was worried that I would always wonder if I was pregnant or if that month just happened to be a longer cycle. It would have been very stressful, so I decided to go on the Pill.

Everything seemed fine for those seven years that I was on birth control

My periods were regular, and I did not have any pregnancy scares. It made things very easy. Eventually, I began to feel the drive to have kids. I knew that I always wanted children, and as I got closer to turning 30, I knew that it was time. I assumed that I would go off of birth control, give it a few months for my cycle to figure itself out, and then I’d be able to get pregnant.

That was not what happened. After going off birth control, my cycle came for a couple of months and then completely stopped. Of course, I assumed that I was pregnant. I wasn’t.

And then my cycle didn’t come back

After a few months of this, I went to see my doctor and was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome or PCOS.

I had never heard of PCOS before this diagnosis. Looking back, I would bet that suppressing ovulation for seven years probably was not a great idea for my body. In addition to infertility, PCOS also causes higher testosterone and makes losing weight difficult. I was prepared to do whatever I needed to do to have a baby, so I began taking metformin to help get my weight down and then went on letrozole to help stimulate ovulation. I know that I was lucky in that it only took me a few months on letrozole to get pregnant.

I am so grateful to modern medicine for helping me to have a child, but I feel that messing with my hormones again would be a terrible idea

My second child was actually a surprise and conceived naturally. My cycle in between kids was still a bit irregular, but as fate would have it, we must have hit the fertility window just right. I don’t think that I could have gone through the whole fertility medication process again. It was really stressful, and metformin can be a rough drug. For my body to be able to do it on its own was huge for me.

I still have some of the lingering effects of PCOS since it never really goes away, but my cycles have returned after my second child was born, and they have gone back to what they were before I went on birth control. For the most part, I have evened out, and although my cycles are a little longer than other women, it is about right for me.

Even though we’re pretty sure we’re done having kids, I could never go back on the birth control pill, no matter how convenient it would be

It is helpful for some women, but for me, the thought of screwing around with my hormones when they’re already screwy to begin with does not sit well. My body is doing what it is supposed to be doing. It is actually working on its own, and to mess with that seems like a huge mistake at this point.