Now that I'm a dad and the primary caregiver of our children, I’m keenly aware of other dads. I see them at the grocery store with their babies, walking the kids in strollers, and playing with them at the park or on playdates.
The role of dads today is not only more diverse but expanded
Today’s dads are not only just found in the traditional married role, but can also be divorced, unmarried, or a step-parent — and still others, like me, are gay and raising children with their partners.
I think back to my childhood and the role of fathers versus today. Dads in the past focused on being the provider for the family and did very little of the everyday work of taking care of the kids. I grew up in a home where my mother was a career woman working outside of the house but still took care of the household and the kids. Just a little uneven and frankly, unfair.
While in the past, moms were pretty much expected to take care of the kids and the home, and dads were the breadwinner, this is changing. Today, it's not enough for dads to just bring home a paycheck — moms are doing that, too. Fathers need to be present and play an active role in their children’s lives. This expanded role is driven both by a shift in our societal and cultural expectations of what a father’s role should be and dads’ desire to be more involved with their families.
All this results in a positive for everyone
Moms increasingly have a partner who can share in a more balanced way the everyday chores of taking care of the family.
Kids actually benefit from having dads’ greater involvement in child-rearing. Studies have shown a connection with dads increased involvement and an increase in self-esteem, confidence, well-being, educational success, and in breaking down stereotypical gender beliefs in children.
There are benefits for dads, too
By being more involved in the day-to-day care of the family, dads establish deeper and richer bonds with their children. They also learn just how much work it is taking care of the kids, which ultimately helps them appreciate the work moms have done for decades.
The involvement of dads starts early, with increased participation with the pregnancy and the birth of the child. They attend doctor appointments, participate in the delivery, and increasingly are helping with nighttime feedings and diaper changes.
The expanded roles of dads may take many different forms, depending on the family
It could be coming home from work to spend time with the kids, helping with the schoolwork or extracurricular activities, dropping off and picking up the kids from school, or staying home as the primary caregiver.
From a personal standpoint, I have to say that seeing dads as primary caregivers gives me a sense of pride and makes me happy.
I think shedding the old, dated conventions of dad’s role for the more well-rounded version is a very good thing. Moms have shouldered way too much of the burden of childcare for way too long.
There is still progress to be made, but things have certainly come a long way, and dads are stepping up their game, which is a great thing for moms, dads, and kids.
