We’re New Moms — This Is What We *Actually* Want for Christmas

Let’s be honest, having an infant is exhausting — even after the newborn stage, babies need a lot of nighttime attention. And just when you think you’ve gotten a bit of a routine, something new comes up: a sleep regression, teething, a cold, a growth spurt.

Whoever came up with the phrase “sleeping like a baby” probably hasn’t met many babies recently. All we want is for our little ones to sleep soundly and peacefully, but that’s not always a possibility. If you’re the partner of a new mom (or possibly a parent or sibling), offer to take over for a night. Like, fully take over. That means doing the bedtime routine, taking care of any wakeups, doing the diaper changes and overnight feedings, and waking up early for playtime — and it means absolutely NO “Where are extra diapers?” or “How much milk should I warm up?” texts.

If giving mom a night off isn’t a possibility, give the gift of caffeine. Be thoughtful about the gift — don’t just buy any random bag of coffee beans. Find out what type of coffee she drinks (light roast or dark roast? espresso or drip?), what kind of coffee machine she has (is it a classic drip coffee machine? does she have a Keurig or Nespresso?), or where she likes to buy her coffee when she’s out and about (is there a local café she loves? is she a Starbucks girlie through and through?). If she’s not into coffee, learn whether she likes tea, soda, energy drinks, or something else entirely. Buying her the type of coffee/tea/caffeinated beverage she likes best will not only give her the caffeine boost she needs to get through the day, it’ll also make her feel seen.

Pregnancy and childbirth change your body, so wearing our pre-pregnancy clothes isn’t always an option. Sure, the oversize sweatpants and ratty college T-shirts still fit, but when it’s time to actually leave the house, those aren’t great options. It’s not even that we want to fit into our old clothes again — we created life, our bodies don’t need to “bounce back” — but it would be nice to have *any* clothes that fit properly. Ask any new mom, and they’ll probably tell you that they just want clothes that fit on their ever-changing breasts, clothes that aren’t covered in spit-up, clothes that look OK with nursing bras, clothes that are easy to breastfeed in (but don’t look like our grandmother’s nightgown)… you get it.

Buying a whole new wardrobe might not be a possibility, especially because most new moms don’t even know what size they wear. Instead, a gift card to our favorite store is a much better option. Then we can spend an afternoon looking for, browsing, and trying on new outfits that fit our new bodies.

A weeklong tropical vacation would do wonders for any new mom’s mental health, but unfortunately it’s not always in the budget… and traveling with an infant isn’t exactly relaxing. But how nice would it be to lounge on a beach, read a book, and sip a cocktail? Well, a girl can dream, right?

Give the new mom in your life the gift of relaxation with a luxurious spa day. A full-on vacation might not be in the cards, but a spa day is more than doable. A massage, a facial, and a mani-pedi can do wonders for a new mom, both physically and mentally.

When you have a baby at home, everything else in the house seems to get put on the back burner. Dishes pile up, laundry sits in the hamper, and no matter how much you try to stay on top of all the chores, there always seems to be more to do. Plus, with bottles to wash and sterilize, toys and books to put away, and soiled baby clothes to wash, there are just more chores to begin with. What we really want for Christmas is a house that’s just magically clean — without us having to be the one who cleans it. Of course, that’s not possible with the technology we currently have.

OK, so you can’t exactly buy a smart house that cleans itself, but a cleaning service is a viable option. Household tasks can feel completely overwhelming for new moms, especially because the never-ending list of things that needs to get done adds to our mental load. Take some of the pressure off by hiring a cleaning service. Whether you hire a team to do a one-day deep clean of the entire house or you hire a person to come on a biweekly basis, having a clean house will help any mom feel a little more at peace.

This gift is actually doable — and it’s not just a gift a partner can give! Parents, siblings, and friends can all help out by taking candid photos of us with our babies. We’re constantly snapping pictures of our little ones, and we have tons of pictures of our babies with our spouses and other loved ones, but we don’t usually get many pictures of ourselves as mothers. Don’t wait for us to ask for you to take a picture! Once you take these photos, be sure to text them over so we have them, too.

If you know yourself, and you know you’re just not great at grabbing your phone and taking candid pictures, set up an appointment with a professional photographer. Family photos are priceless, so you won’t regret the cost (even if they’re a little pricey). The photographer can come to your house for a more intimate setting, you can meet at a park for fun action photos, or you can go to their studio if you want professional lighting and backgrounds.

As new moms, all we really want is to feel loved, appreciated, and seen. We want to know that our partners and families can see how hard we’re working to juggle everything, and we want to know that our efforts aren’t going unnoticed. A Christmas gift that is thoughtful and personal is a great way to make us feel truly loved this holiday season.