My marriage is past the point of subtle hints. These days, we say it in black and white. It’s easier that way. No guessing. Less misunderstanding.
So, when it comes to holidays – like Valentine’s Day – I call it like it is.
“Hey, honey, this is what I’d like as a gift. Please include a handwritten card with a few sentiments, not just your signature. And let’s pull out our calendars and pick a date night sometime in February so we can plan a sitter and schedule a reservation.”
I get what I want, and he doesn’t have to play the guessing game or worry that I’ll be let down on a special day. It's a win-win.
It wasn’t always this way, though. I used to have romantic notions heavily influenced by Valentine’s Day marketing. My husband paid attention to every advertisement in January, hoping to guess the exact right gift that would make me smile and feel loved. But the thing is, those commercials can be so far off from what any grown woman really wants.
Because, reality check! These are things I definitely DO NOT for Valentine’s Day:
Red roses
Not even close to my favorite flower, so, no thank you! Plus, have you seen the price hike of those beauties this time of year?
Lingerie
Really? REALLY?! I’ll buy my own underwear, thank you very much.
Heart jewelry
Only if you’ve seen something very specific on my Pinterest board — otherwise, steer clear of all Valentine’s Day-inspired accessories.
Stuffed animals
No matter how cute it is, no matter how sweet the saying printed on the heart they are holding is, do not buy me a stuffed animal. EVER.
Anything over our designated gift budget
Nothing will backfire on a marriage like one of us spending money we haven’t pre-planned. Do not surprise me with something extravagant. It will forever taint the gift.
Tools or appliances you think I need
I might need a screwdriver of my own for mini household projects or desire the latest robot vacuum, but I definitely don’t want one wrapped up as my Valentine’s Day gift. Buy the screwdriver and put it in the kitchen drawer. Then, pick a different gift.
Let me help you out
Now that you know what won’t be a Valentine’s Day gift, here are a few ideas on how to best choose the perfect present:
Just ask me what I want
Say it nice and thoughtful, “I really want to surprise you with something you’ve been wishing for in the X dollar range. Can you email me a handful of ideas so I can choose one now and save the other ideas for later?”
Watch my Instagram stories
That place is a goldmine of my dreams and wishes.
Take something off my to-do list
Have a housecleaner come while we’re on our date night or get my minivan detailed.
I’m almost certain any mama would cry over one of those gifts of service, so you're welcome.
