I was once walking through Target around Christmas time. I was watching a woman walk ahead of her family while her partner pushed the kids in the cart. They stopped by the comforter aisle, where I was rubbing every pillow. As soon as she stopped to look, the kids started complaining — “Mom, hurry up! You said we were going to go home and watch a movie and have hot chocolate! Why do you have to look at blankets!?”
Her husband spoke up (as she ignored them) and said, “That’s enough. Your mom doesn’t ask for much. Let her look and then we will go home and do what you want to do.”
I thought Yes! That's what every mother wants, especially this time of year when we're rushing around making everything look and feel like a snow globe for everyone else.
No wonder why moms of the world feel lonely and neglected this time of year. Our focus is on everyone else, and no one really pays much attention to us (unless we forget to do something), and it’s exhausting. Not to mention, we go into the new year already feeling depleted.
So here's a PSA for the rest of the world: Moms don’t necessarily want lotions, potions, and expensive jewelry. We’d rather have things like:
Not being made to feel like making everything all magical is 100% on us
Yes, we do this because we want to and it’s important to us. But it's also nice to know a nice holiday isn’t solely on our shoulders. We aren’t asking for a maid or for someone to come in and decorate and bake for us. We just want our family to feel happy and satisfied with what we can do without exhausting ourselves and not making us feel as if we're expected to do all the things.
A little (OK, a lot) more sleep
Kids and partners, let us sleep in. If we're taking a nap on the sofa after we’ve made cookies, whisper. Let us relax a little bit more so our batteries can be recharged enough for us to enjoy the next holiday tradition or event.
No sass
We can’t deny we’d all love a day when our kids just did what was asked of them. Go to bed without a fight. Don’t argue with us when it’s time for dinner or we say no to something you really want to do. I’m not saying that it’s a realistic request if you have younger children, but if we're being honest here, having a sass-free day would feel glorious.
To feel appreciated
We want to feel seen, heard, and acknowledged. We don’t want to feel invisible or as if nothing will get done unless we do it. We are human, and contrary to what the rest of the family seems to think, we like to enjoy the holidays and feel special, too.
Something to look forward to
If homemade coupons are what we're going to be gifted, that’s fine — but they better be redeemable. Spouses, don’t gift us five coupons for a foot rub or back rub if it’s going to last five minutes and you're expecting sex. Follow through with what they say, and make Mom the focus. A family day doing all of Mom’s favorite things, or making her favorite dinner one night would be such a great gift to receive.
Quality time
We want time with our families that feels special. We don’t want arguing or to hear any complaints — even if it’s just for a half hour while we take a walk or go sledding. We really do want to spend time with everyone, which is why we try so hard to make it nice for all involved.
Cooperation when it comes to taking a picture
A non-hectic photo shoot to capture some of the holiday memories would be great. It literally only takes a few seconds, but for some reason, kids think this is torture. It’s not always about portraying that our family is perfect. Most of the time, we just want that picture for good memories. Our kids grow up so fast, and this is the one thing we can do to preserve time a little bit. Oh, and partners, it doesn't hurt to snap some candids of Mom with the kids while you're at it.
Moms really don’t want much — not even for the holidays
We love our families and would do anything for them. And, trust me, these gifts from the heart don't take a whole lot of effort and will stretch for miles for any mom.
