Yesterday, nine people lost their lives in a tragic helicopter crash. All of these people, no matter their superstar status, or their profession, will leave an unimaginable hole in the lives of their loved ones and in the consciousness of the country at large. However, for me, the most devastating part of the tragedy is the loss of three young women — Gigi, Alyssa, and Payton — all of whom were 13 years old.
Of course, the deaths of children should hit us harder for all the usual reasons. For me, however, this crash stabbed me in the heart, where it hurts the most. I have spent the last 14 years of my life teaching or working with 7th and 8th graders. I have known hundreds of 13-year-old girls, and the idea that any of them could be taken from the world at that age in particular brings tears to my eyes that refuse to go away.
Most women remember being 13
Many of us cringe at our sad attempts at putting on eyeliner, at our attempts to impress the boys, or the crazy outfits we used to wear that were so sure looked awesome. When I tell people I work with middle school students, I usually get the response, “Oh, wow, that’s impressive. I definitely couldn’t do that — you’re a saint!” Middle school kids have a reputation for being dramatic, flighty, and in many ways, utterly annoying.
Oh, they are. These behaviors are the symptoms of becoming.
When girls of 13 'become,' they are utterly amazing
It is a process I never tire of watching, a process that always makes me proud beyond belief.
I have seen girls go from being too shy to speak in a small group end up as the lead in their high school musical or captain of the debate team. I have comforted girls who cried over not having a boyfriend to take to the 7th grade winter formal, only to watch those same girls get glammed up for the 8th grade dance and go out to the middle of the gym floor with their friends, leaving the awkward boys to lurk in the shadows.
The freedom and joy on their faces is indescribable
I never knew this until recently, but when caterpillars go into their cocoons to become butterflies, they literally turn into liquid and reform as something else. Such is the way of pre-teen girls. The transformation process can get downright yucky. It can be awkward, painful, devastating, and everything in-between. It is my joy and my honor to be an adult in these girls’ lives and help them blossom in any way I can as their educator.
The idea of a girl’s life being cut short in the middle of her becoming is too tragic for words. I mourn Gigi, Alyssa, and Payton, not just for the loss of their lives, but for the loss of their full transformation into powerful young women.
The world is a darker place without them, without any girl we lose at the resplendent age of 13.
