I have a friend I saw at least twice a week all last summer. My kids and I would go to her pool on Thursday afternoons and we'd talk in the sun for hours. There were many Saturday nights that we shared wine and cake. We started a ritual of meeting at our favorite restaurant for a drink after my spin class on Tuesdays. There were beach days and lunches out for burgers.
I loved spending extra time with her
Then, life got back to normal after our kids started school and our lives got taken over by kids who had busy schedules and needed rides. Our visits are now few and far between — and I've learned to accept that it's OK.
It doesn't mean anything is wrong with our friendship or that it won't pick up speed again. The amount of time we spend together isn't a device in which we measure our love for each other. It simply is what it is — two women trying to do their best job at all the things.
And sometimes that means choosing to stay in to rest because our day kicked our butts.
Sometimes it means we'd rather text than see each other.
Sometimes that means life gets so busy that we don't even remember the last time we clipped out toenails, much less the last time we saw each other.
Friendships ebb and flow
There are times when life allows us to come together more and other times when we barely have time to hold our regular life together and our friendship fall to the back of the line a little bit.
If I shut down every friendship I had as a adult because we weren't spending a lot of time together, I'd literally have no friends left. This is friendship grown-up style. We understand the chaos. We get it. And we don't let it come between us.
I know I'll see my friend on the flip side
I realize there will be a space and time when we both slow down a bit and see each other, and our meetings pick up again.
The last time we had lunch, she said to me, "I want you to know I think about you all the time. Just because I don't reach out a lot lately doesn't mean you aren't on my mind."
"I know," I told her.
And I really did, because she took the thoughts right out of my head and spit them out. Because that's what true friends do, regardless of how much they see each other. Even if they aren't there physically, they're there in spirit — and that's enough for me.
