Sometimes a healthy relationship looks, feels, and sounds a lot different than you’d imagine. Here are 11 signs that a relationship is positive and strong for both people involved.
You spend time apart
Wait, aren’t relationships about being together? Of course. But not every waking moment. In a healthy relationship, there’s plenty of room — emotional, psychological, and physical — to do things on your own.
You argue
To clarify, you can argue, disagree, and even have a knock-down-drag-out fight without it being the end of the world. No couple always agrees on everything. In the best relationships, there are plenty of disagreements — but those arguments are girded by a basic sense of respect.
You don’t stress when they don’t immediately text back
In those dicey early days of a relationship, those three dots not turning into a text message can feel devastating. That makes sense — as you’re still trying to figure out if the relationship is on solid ground. Once you feel secure in a relationship, your first thought after an unanswered text isn’t "OMG, they've found someone else!" It’s "Oh, I bet they're just busy."
You know each other’s friends and family
Part of being in a relationship is knowing the whole person, including the other people who lay claim to their (platonic!) affections. In a healthy relationship, you are part of the fabric of someone’s life — not just an accessory.
You don’t snoop
If you’re snooping, it means two things: one, you lack trust; two, you don’t feel secure enough to ask about what’s bothering you. Healthy relationships can withstand the tough, awkward, vulnerable questions about someone’s history or other relationships, or whatever else it is that keeps you up at night.
You don’t play games
Oh, the games people play. Dating can be fraught with little psychological games that determine who has the advantage or keep you from feeling vulnerable. Being in a healthy relationship is a welcome relief from all of that.
You still flirt
Healthy relationships are all about trust and security. But let’s not forget why you wanted to be with the person in the first place: attraction and desire. Let them know they’ve still got it — and you still feel it.
You laugh
Funny is forever. Laughter is the glue that keeps a lot of relationships going. It’s joy, shared.
You can talk about the future
We all know that kind of relationship — it’s good in the moment, but there’s no promise of tomorrow. While that can be fun for a while, at some point, you want to know if you're building something together — or not.
You listen
And — conversely — you feel listened to. Good communication might imply that there’s a lot of talking going on, but it’s actually the opposite. Listening is what fosters true connection. Use your ears, not your mouth.
You don’t feel the need to read articles like this one
You don’t need anyone to tell you that your relationship is good, bad, or somewhere in-between. You’re not constantly analyzing the state of your relationship — you’re too busy living it.
