You're Doing It Alone
Some 80 percent of New Year's resolutions are New Year's failures by the time February comes around. The collective interest in saving money, losing weight or traveling more somehow loses its appeal just days or weeks after the commitment to take them on is made.
There are many reasons you never stick to your resolutions. For example, you're typically going at it alone. The American Psychological Association recommends finding a buddy with the same goal. Keeping each other accountable, as well as encouraging each other, will help keep you going.
You Aim Too High
Is your resolution to lose more weight than you ever have? Run a marathon when you've never even walked to the corner? Become fluent in Chinese by 2020 when you've not yet studied the language? If you aim too high, you might not see enough progress, and that can be discouraging. Make sure your resolutions are within reach.
You Give Up Easily
If you're the kind of person who gives up easily (no judgment here!), then you especially need to make sure your expectations are reasonable. Learn why you give up, and set that as your first goal. Then proceed with the rest.
You Don't Make Time
If you don't make time for change, you can't change. It's impossible to lose weight if you don't make time to plan and prep meals, and work out. You can't learn a new language or write a novel if you don't have at least a little time every day to study or write. When you're making your resolutions, also think about ways to make time for them.
You Don't Budget Money
If you need to take a class, join a gym, book tickets or anything else that costs money in order to meet your goals, you'd better budget for it. New Year's resolutions that require a monetary investment won't get off the ground if you don't have the money for them.
It's an Unrealistic Goal
Face reality before setting your resolution, if you want to stick to it this year. Six-pack abs? Does your body even like to be muscular? A draft of a novel by the end of the year? Do you even like to write? If your goal is too aggressive, too unrealistic or something you don't really want, you'll never make the change.
There's No Plan
The time to think about New Year's resolutions is now. That way, you have time to make a plan. Jumping off into the great unknown is fun. But if you're just winging it, you're less likely to stick to it when complications arise or motivation wanes.
You Don't Believe in Yourself
If, deep down, you don't believe in yourself, you won't stick to your resolutions—no matter what you commit to change.
You Have a Negative Perspective
If your negative resolutions are made out of some type of loathing, you're less likely to stick to them. A positive attitude is key to making and sticking with long-term changes. Instead of "lose the muffin top," resolve to feel good in your body. Instead of saving money, resolve to "save $2,000 toward a fun summer vacation" or to "live credit-card-free."
You Value Product Over Process
Resolutions for things are easy to give up on. After all, you've lived without them this long. But resolving to do things in a better way to reach a goal—that's different. Your results are about a process, not the product of the process. Not only will you stick to the plan more easily, you'll institute lifelong changes, too.
You Don't Seek Help
Resolving to quit smoking is great. But your chances of sticking with it are greatly improved if you seek support in doing so. If you resolve to lose weight, seeing a trainer, joining a keto group or checking in with a therapist are all great ways to get support. You'll be encouraged to stay on course. You'll have help when things get difficult.
You Flail
If you let yourself flail those first few days or weeks after New Year's Day, you'll be less likely to stick to your plan long term. Instead, stick to your plan and when that doesn't work, thoughtfully revise it.
You Don't Really Want It
Do you even like making New Year's resolutions? Do you really want to lose weight? Has someone convinced you to save more money when that's not something you're prioritizing? Sometimes we do things because others want us to. Other people's goals for us are hard to stick to. True change has to come from a value you hold.
You Don't Actually Like It
Did you resolve to cook more next year, but secretly you hate cooking? That's going to be a difficult—if not impossible—resolution to stick to. Your resolutions should be something you're interested in. If you need to find a way to eat healthier, lose weight or save money, you might need to think of a different way to do that, other than cooking at home. That goes for other resolutions, too.
You Don't Set Yourself Up for Success
You won't stick to your resolution if you don't set yourself up for success in achieving it. When you want to make big changes, you need to start small, let go of past failures, think in terms of "want" and "should," make a plan and, above all else, don't make resolutions as a way of beating yourself up. Life changes are not punishments—they're opportunities for growth and happiness.
You Sprint When It's a Marathon
Resolutions, including ones to run a marathon, are a marathon and not a sprint. They take time, they take effort, they take lots of hydration. (Well, not all of them.) Keep in mind the long run, or you won't stick to your resolution.
You Lie to Yourself
Lying to yourself, for whatever reason, isn't healthy. And it's very unproductive when it comes to New Year's resolutions. If you slip up early on, acknowledge it and think about what triggered the slip-up. Come up with a plan the next time it happens. If you lie to yourself, saying something was impossible or that you're too weak or too tired or that it wasn't a big deal, is the start of the slide to giving up.
You're Overthinking It
With all of the New Year's resolution advice, it's also important to not overthink your resolution. It's an idea! Something you'd like to see changed about your life. Just trying is a great first step. Obsessing about it, especially if you slip up, makes things too emotional and complicated when, really, life changes can and should be fun. Difficult, sure, but also enjoyable.
You Don't Track Progress
Holding yourself privately accountable by tracking your progress—whatever it's for—has been shown to help people stick to big life changes. Tracking in an app or a journal is also great for when you're feeling less motivated. You can look back, even if it's only over a few days, and see the progress you've already made. You can picture what that tracking will look like if you stick with it another day, another week, another month.
You Don't Understand Why
What are the reasons behind the changes you want to make? Does your "why" match up with your goal? If you really just want more friends, why was your resolution to lose weight and not, say, make more friends? The changes you make should match up with your real goals in life. If the why is right, you'll want to stick to your resolutions.
