Last night, I was cleaning up the dinner dishes, rambling off a list of all I had to do — laundry, grocery shopping, change my hair appointment because I’d scheduled it for the same time as our dentist appointments — when my daughter told me to take a break and watch a show with her instead. So, I did. There are times our kids can be our greatest teachers about what's really important in life and this was one of those times.
But as I was sitting there, trying to be in the moment yet twitching a bit because these things still have to get done at some point, it made me realize something:
Moms never really get a true break
Sure, some of can take a short snooze in the afternoon but as we're dozing off, we’re thinking of what we’ll do when we awake to make up for it. Maybe you even dream you're literally drowning in a sea of to-do items. I know I have more than once.
Even when we go away for a weekend with our partner, friends, or by ourselves, we aren’t really fully off the clock.
We’re wondering if everyone is safe, how much sugar they are eating, and if they’re falling asleep OK without us there.
Then there's always the bittersweet re-entry
We can’t wait to get back to our family and squeeze them, but we know there’s going to be big messes for us to deal with.
Being a mom means not being able to fully lose yourself in the moment.
It means you put other people’s needs before your own.
It means you have energy for your kids, but not always for yourself.
It means you're doing something really enjoyable with a friend yet in the back of your mind, you're trying to remember when the next doctor’s appointment is and if it’s time to buy your child new shoes because they were walking funny this morning.
It means you are constantly spread out and wondering if you are giving everyone enough of you.
People tell you when you become a mom to make sure you 'take a break every once in a while'
But what they should tell you is to do your best at trying to partly step away from motherhood and take a breather.
Taking a real respite is no longer a luxury that's offered to you since you can't turn your mom brain off, no matter how hard you try. Maybe it's because we just don't really want to.
Our minds are constantly churning away, regardless of where we are or what we are doing. It’s the ultimate sacrifice and maybe, one day, we’ll be able to fully turn off our brains, but I’m pretty sure it’s going to be a long while.
In the meantime, I’m sure the short snippets we take will be enough. They have to be.
