As a non-Korean (and non-Asian) mom of two half Korean American toddlers, I am finding the value of taking on another’s culture as my own. Before my husband and I married, learning about Korean and Korean American culture was more about learning who he was and what had shaped him. Once we got married and had kids, his culture became a part of mine.
My kids, being the toddlers that they are, are not really aware of the cultures that coexist within them
During a week they go from eating pizza and spaghetti to eating gogi (meat) and rice and jjajangmyeon (black bean noodles). They go from hanging out with grandma and grandpa to seeing their halmoni (grandmother) and harabeoji (grandfather). This is their normal.
Being a Black mother of biracial kids is a new wave to navigate
When my kids grow older, the conversations about the big three — race, culture, and identity — are going to challenge me and my husband. My kids will have to figure out how to just be who they are and not feel forced to choose a side – a race, a culture. My hope is that we can keep what is normal now as normal later.
Normal for my kids started early on in their lives
Normal began when we celebrated their first 100 days, and their first year of life — two significant Korean celebrations. Normal for them is seen when we dress them in the traditional and formal Korean clothing called hanboks for New Year’s Eve, and they learn to bow to their elders and to give and receive monetary gifts. Normal for them is hearing their halmoni speak in rhythmical Korean and hearing their grandma speak in graceful English. Normal for them is rubbing their hands in their dad’s straight hair, and fluffing my thick curly hair.
As their mother, it is my responsibility to show them how I am of two cultures as well
My goal is to always show them how to use both languages, and so I desire to comfortably speak the Korean language. My goal is to always show them that food can be a strong connection to one’s culture, and so I desire to always show them the richness in what they consume when it comes to Korean and Black Southern cuisine. My goal is to make it simple for them to be of two.
And in making it simpler, my hope is that they always experience a peaceable normalcy.
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