As I type this, it’s Week 9 of “Safer At Home” in Los Angeles County. Distance learning, screentime squabbles, everyone all up in each other’s faces all the time. But. We’re. Fine. Which has really gotten me thinking: Is something wrong with me if I’m really enjoying my kids through this?
My big confession these days is that I feel like I’m the sole woman in my groups of mom friends who’s having trouble relating to “OMG the kids are at me non-stop” and “I’ve given up on screentime rules” and “All I need is a wine night” to erase any given day.
Sure, we’ve had our push and pulls, but nothing more than before this whole outbreak disaster started — we work, we play, we argue, we laugh, we live, we start again and do the same thing the next day.
Although I want my girls back in school, dance class, and piano lessons ASAP — without the requirement of a Zoom connection — this current situation isn’t negatively affecting my relationship with my daughters.
We’re getting to know each other better. We’re tackling things together. We’re having fun.
Yet, almost every mom on Facebook makes me feel ashamed for it
My kids aren’t cranky or sad — they’re drawing and playing nonstop. Homeschool has continued to rock and we’ve been fiercely following online teacher guidelines like we’re getting an invisible prize at the end. We launch most days with a prayer and the Pledge of Allegiance, for “school” start time at 10 a.m. We go to bed counting at least five good things that happened each day.
I'm opting to use this time we've been given because most likely, it'll never happen again
Before you vomit and/or leave some snarky comment about how fake this post seems to you, let me repeat a steadfast motherhood rule we tend to throw around when we don’t like what someone else has to say: Don’t judge.
Before this whole worldwide crisis, I was already big believer in not over-scheduling activities, family dinners at home four nights a week, and not going here, there, and everywhere just to fill our time. Basically besides Disneyland, staying home has already long been our favorite place.
Years ago, I was also that new mom who opted out of Mommy & Me classes as well as full-time preschool so I could instead take my two kids around to the grocery store or to the park and just require that they free play outside or with their own toys in an effort to personally teach them “life skills.”
I now realize we’ve been preparing for this “safer at home” order for almost a decade.
Home has always been a fun space, a safe space, our best space
If I don’t continue to capitalize on this time at home to teach my girls how to do laundry, how to use their own creativity to occupy themselves when they’re bored, how to cope with big frustrating emotions, and self-teach resilience through uncertainty, then I’m not doing my job. And what makes keeps me happy is rising to any occasion to do a good job — be it in an office or inside my home. And I won’t let anyone shame me for finding joy in this.
Because being at home, with the people we love the most, should never be scary or panic-inducing, even in the worst world situations. Other parts of this whole situation, yes, but being with our kids, no. The best I can do for my kids through all this is help them feel safe, loved and cared for — and try to enjoy it all in the process. It’s the least they deserve and in this time of uncertainty, it’s the one thing I can give them.
