Sharing Is Not Always a Good Thing
This challenges much of what is taught in the early school years, but all sorts of infections—from colds and flus to lice—get passed when kids share. So teach your kids to keep their utensils, water bottles and hairbrushes to themselves.
Dental Hygiene Is for Her Benefit, Not Yours
It is not uncommon for daily battles over toothbrushing to begin in the toddler years. This sets up a pattern where kids think they are doing it for their parents. As your daughter gets older, it makes a big difference when you explain that the opposite is true: With good dental hygiene, she is less likely to have cavities and bad breath. Motivate your daughter to add flossing to the routine by telling her what my dentist told my kids: It’s a trash can in between those teeth, and if you don’t take the trash out, it will really stink!
When It Comes to Skin, Cover It but Don't Pick It!
Your 8-year-old spends hours and hours every day out of your sight. So you really need to teach her the importance of protecting her skin with sunscreen, hats or protective clothing. I teach kids that skin only wrinkles when it's exposed to sun. What does a 90-year-old woman’s bottom look like? It is a lot less wrinkled than her face, because that skin has never seen the sun. You also need to teach the downside of picking. Popping a pimple looks a lot worse than leaving it alone, and the picked zit can get infected, causing a scab or even a scar.
Bras Serve a Purpose
These days, because sports bras are popular well before girls ever have anything to hold up, young girls often think of them as fashion statements. Teach your daughter what a bra is meant to do. Reassure her that you will let her know when she needs to wear one (a real one, that is). As she gets older, explain how to tell if a bra fits properly. And perhaps most important, teach your daughter to keep her undergarments private. When others can see a bra peeking through clothes, it reinforces a form of attention that doesn't boost self-worth. Bras are for boosting something else entirely.
Girls Come in Different Shapes & Sizes
And while they know this, they often think there is one right shape and size. Teach them otherwise! Talk to your daughter about health, not weight. Emphasize natural beauty, not enhanced beauty. And pay attention to the made-up, plasticized, photoshopped images all around us. These notions of beauty make a big impact. Talking about it, even just acknowledging it, makes a tremendous difference.
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What You Put Into Your Body Is as Important as What You Keep out of It
And vice versa. Put healthy foods in, keep sugar and junk out. Put water in, keep sodas out. Put your own medicines in, keep others’ medicines out. Your body is a temple, and you only have one. If you explain it this way, your daughter will be much better equipped to make smart, healthy choices.
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Sleep Affects Mood
It seems so obvious to us, but our kids don’t put two and two together quite so easily. Have your daughter keep a log for one week, tracking what time she falls asleep and how she feels (emotionally) during the day. Add to this a few little facts about sleep ("You actually grow while you're sleeping!") and you won’t have to beg her to go to bed anymore.
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Parents Always Have Your Back
Perhaps the most important thing to teach your daughter is that it is your job to keep her safe and healthy. As she enters the tween years, your daughter will begin to rely on her friends, not only for companionship, but also for reassurance, subtle guidance and “facts.” You are the safe person, the go-to. She needs to know that now, so that she can continue to lean on you as she gets older. Deep down she will appreciate your rules, your limits and your annoyances, so long as she knows that it is all centered on keeping her safe and healthy.
Dr. Cara Natterson is the author of American Girl's The Care & Keeping of You 2: The Body Book for Older Girls.
