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The struggles of Black women to receive adequate treatment while pregnant are becoming more widely known, but there is another struggle, before even becoming pregnant, that Black communities don't talk openly about: infertility.
Studies have shown that after one year of trying, 12% to 15% of couples have infertility issues, and for Black women, the barriers to conceiving are typically kept quiet. Some of these factors stem from Black women experiencing higher rates of conditions such as obesity and fibroids, as well as the hesitance and mistrust of doctors by the Black community. Making matters worse, one study based on data from an urban clinic in Atlanta, showed that some African-American women might have limited knowledge and education on infertility. This can partly be attributed to the lack of sharing our experiences and being open about our issues with fertility.
Keeping infertility to ourselves
In fact, according to a study by the University of Michigan, Black women often cope with infertility and trouble with conceiving in isolation. In the Black community, keeping our business within the home is a common message we are taught as children. Additionally, Black women can feel some shame and failure at not being able to conceive like their peers or other family members. Women can sometimes feel discouraged from discussing infertility with friends if they believe there will be a lack of support. Although suffering from infertility is typically out of a woman’s control, there is a stigma about it, and proud and strong Black women are often raised to soldier on and figure it out.
In the Black community, there are misconceptions that if we do not have children, then it wasn’t meant to be or that infertility treatments are simply too costly.
How can we fix this?
If you are dealing with infertility, you might be looking for someone to share your experience with or to find someone who truly understands what you and your partner are feeling. If you are ready to talk, jump out there and get the conversation started with those close to you who love you and care about your family.
By having these conversations more regularly, our generation will start to shift the thoughts and shape future thoughts about infertility within the Black community. Recently, celebrities such as Michelle Obama, Chrissy Teigen, and Tia Mowry have also been outspoken about their own struggles and empower women to join the conversation.
My experience with pregnancy loss
In my own experience with pregnancy loss, once I started to talk about it, I realized that I actually knew other women personally who had experienced the same thing, but we had never talked about it. I would have never known this had I not reached out and just started talking.
Whether your family can empathize or not, they care about what you are going through. There are also other resources and people willing to talk with you about the struggles you are facing.
Where can you find help?
If you are having trouble finding supportive friends and family or bringing up your questions about infertility, there are several nonprofit organizations formed specifically to help you navigate through the decisions stemming from infertility.
Fertility for Colored Girls is a group of thousands of women who are collectively seeking to assist Black women with taking charge of their fertility and reproductive health, as well as building the family they dream of having.
The Cade Foundation was founded in 2005 to provide information and financial assistance to help families overcome infertility.
There are many paths to becoming a mother, paths that many Black women have taken
By shedding light on these different scenarios, we are changing the narrative and improving pregnancy outcomes for Black families. Creating a more inclusive conversation around fertility and maternal health can start within our own conversations and by sharing our experiences. Improving this narrative will also require inclusive advertising of fertility options, engaging in community work to bring in all possible scenarios of becoming a mother, and shining a spotlight on available resources that can help.
Suffering any pain in silence is difficult. Chances are high that someone in your community, or even your circle, is in the same position. Having conversations with your partner, medical providers, family, and friends will certainly remind you that you do not have to suffer alone.
