Oh, baby names. Is there anything else that inspires quite as much debate, deliberation, and decision making during a pregnancy? Do we go super traditional? How about some trendy unisex options? Maybe something with a creative spelling (why not add a random "y" into the middle of a perfectly good name?), or something old-fashioned that honors a dearly loved relative or friend? Or, for some super famous folks, how about a name that is deeply, deeply weird?
To be fair, some celebrities choose perfectly lovely names for their kids. We love Reese Witherspoon's choice of Ava for her daughter, and Jen Garner made three excellent choices with Violet, Samuel, and Seraphina, for example. But for all of the classic picks or interesting new choices that some celebs make, there are other names that are just plain bad. Names that, if the kid in question wasn't the child of a celebrity, would result in some major playground teasing or a lifetime of people misspelling or fumbling how the name is pronounced. And, of course, there are also names that barely seem to even count as actual names for a human baby (yes, Elon Musk, we are throwing shade your way).
Read on for 15 names we don't think should be added to any baby name list!
North West
North West may be well on her way to becoming a tiny fashion icon or influencer, but we still think going with a directional name was a goofy choice for Kim Kardashian and Kanye West to make. It did set the trend, though, for the rest of their baby names to go in some odd directions, too.
X Æ A-12 Musk
When Elon Musk and his partner at the time, musician Grimes, announced that they'd named their child X Æ A-12, pretty much everyone had the same reaction: a massive eye roll followed by the obvious question, "How on earth is that pronounced?" Apparently, they just call him "X," which is really the best possible option in that mess.
Exa Dark Sideræl Musk
If we were mean-spirited, we'd say that it was probably a good thing that Elon Musk and Grimes have broken up again so they can't have more babies to inflict weird names onto, like poor little Exa Dark Sideræl. She's in for a lifetime of explaining how to pronounce Sideræl (apparently it is sigh-deer-ee-el).
Apple Martin
One of the most frequently mocked celebrity names of the 2000s was Apple Martin, the now 18-year-old daughter of Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. At the time, Gwyneth told Oprah Winfrey, "When we were first pregnant, her daddy said, 'If it's a girl, I think her name should be Apple.' It sounded so sweet, and it conjured such a lovely picture for me, you know. Apples are so sweet and they're wholesome and it's biblical, and I just thought it sounded so lovely."
Moxie CrimeFighter Jillette
Magician Penn Jillette (half of the iconic Penn & Teller duo) chose an eyebrow-raising name for his daughter, who is now 17. She's named Moxie CrimeFighter. Penn shared that he and his wife "chose her middle name because when she's pulled over for speeding she can say, 'But officer, we're on the same side. My middle name is CrimeFighter.'"
Rumer Willis
We're not sure what's worse: naming a child a synonym for gossip or naming them a synonym for gossip but not spelling it correctly? Either way, it leads to Bruce Willis and Demi Moore's daughter Rumer Glenn Willis. It's not a rumor — we don't love this name.
Bluebell Madonna Halliwell
Geri Halliwell will forever be one of our favorite Spice Girls, but her choice of a name for her first child raises some interesting questions. Her daughter is called Bluebell Madonna, which makes us wonder why some flower names (Lily or Rose, for example) seem perfectly lovely but Bluebell seems kind of goofy?
Tu Morrow
Sigh. The thing about names that are funny or punny is that they may be fun to say for the first time, but the kid has to live with that for the rest of their life! So, yeah, we're going to include actor Rob Morrow's choice of the name Tu for his daughter: Tu Morrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, we'd don't love it, tomorrow …
Royalty Brown
Truthfully, we've never really forgiven singer Chris Brown for his history of domestic violence. So maybe it seems petty that we're also not a big fan of his name choices for his kids, including Royalty for one daughter and Lovely Symphani for the other.
Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale
We love a double middle name. It's a great way to get to use three favorite names, but a name like Zuma Nesta Rock just seems like A LOT of name for one kid, even if that kid is the child of two rock stars (Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale).
Diezel Braxton-Lewis
Judging by his Instagram account, Toni Braxton's son, Diezel Braxton-Lewis, is a cool and stylish 19-year-old with an extra fabulous head of hair. According to spell check, however, Diezel is just a misspelling of the word diesel, which seems like an odd choice for a name.
Moroccan Scott Cannon
Mariah Carey has always been a little bit extra, so nobody would expect her to choose basic names for her twins with her ex-husband Nick Cannon. But we still find the choice of Moroccan to be unfortunate. Why Moroccan and not Morocco is a forever mystery, and Moroccan Cannon sounds like a type of weapon, which is just not a vibe.
Barron Trump
There is something so thirsty about Americans who try to seem classy by giving their kid a name that is generally associated with European nobility. Barron Trump is a classic example of this genre of name, although he has plenty of company, including our next worst name choice.
Jermajesty Jackson
His uncle Michael might have been known as the King of Pop, but 21-year-old Jermajesty Jackson's name seems anything but actually royal. Jermajesty is the son of Jermaine, one of the original Jackson 5, and is currently trying to make a name for himself in music as well.
Diva Muffin Zappa
Finally, we have to give a group award for Diva Muffin Zappa and her siblings, Moon Unit and Dweeziel. The late rocker Frank Zappa was responsible for these painfully unique names and was kind of a trendsetter in the celebrities-giving-their-kids-unusual-names space. What a legacy!
