20 Tips on Parenting Multiples From Celebrity Moms & Dads

It’s natural for kids to fight, but Hilaria Baldwin has a rule for when her four kids have sibling squabbles.

“Anytime there is conflict, you’re never allowed to hurt anyone and you have to use your words. You can’t use mean words,” she said. Think of how many adult conflicts around the world could be solved with the same rules.

The holiday season can be less than cheerful for parents of multiple kids. There are so many gifts to buy and personalities to handle on the big, exciting day. It’s not even that easy for celebs like Tori Spelling, who has five kids.

“Holidays are definitely hard, especially with that pressure, having to please everyone and the expectations are crazy,” she has said. “You see what others are creating and that causes you to put the expectations on yourself, you know? You feel the need to like, ‘Oh, I have to live up to that.'”

We all need to put less pressure on ourselves. We’re doing our best.

Tori Spelling’s husband, Dean McDermott, once wrote a whole blog post about parenting multiple children called “Five Kids, One Dad.” In the post, he wrote about how important it is to make each child feel special. He sets “dad dates” with his kids where they each do an activity with him that they really like. That way, they get some quality bonding time together.

James Van Der Beek has five kids, which he thinks allows him and his wife to see their parenting skills in action.

“The nice thing with this many [kids] is that you see your parenting mistakes in real time,” he told Us Weekly. “Anything you do to them, they immediately do to each other. You realize, ‘Oh wait, we’ve got to really dial in this conflict/resolution thing.'”

The momager raised six kids, and she knows a thing or two about being a parent. Kris told Us Weekly last May that her secret was, “Just listen, pay attention, really talk to them, be a part of their lives.” She added that her kids are now all her best friends, so it sure seems like she did something right.

With three kids of her own, Kris Jenner’s daughter Kourtney has learned to give herself some grace as a parent. Kourtney told Health that she struggles when her kids aren’t listening to her.

“Especially if you’re on a time crunch and trying to get out the door. I don’t always have as much patience as I’d like,” she said. “But I try to remember, ‘It’s not that big of a deal, it’s fine; we’re going to get there.’ It’s about letting go of the plan — it doesn’t always work out!”

Been there, girl.

The Fixer Upper star is a hard-working mama, and she makes sure her kids understand this. In a blog post for Mother’s Day, she wrote about how she explains having to leave for work to her five children.

“I always explain to them that being with them is my favorite thing in the world. I explain that I have to work just like they have to go to school. I also let them know what I’m doing at work that day — whether it’s filming the show or going into the office — and what time I’ll be home,” she wrote. “Taking a few seconds to let them in on this other huge part of my life has really helped them understand that mom and dad have a big job to do.”

The father of six has said he views his fatherhood role in a more laid-back way. He wants to “show ’em around, help them find what they want to do with their life, put as many things in front of them, and pull them back when they get out of line, so they know who they are.”

It’s safety first for Kristen Bell and her two kids when they’re around the car. She revealed on Instagram that she makes sure they put their “hands on the circle” (aka the gas cap) when she’s loading or unloading the car. That way she always knows exactly where her kids are, and they can’t get into trouble.

As the dad of four kids, actor Ewan McGregor has a lot of parenting tips up his sleeve. One of his biggest? Being present. “Pay attention. I recognize it can be boring to play with young children — to tell a story over and over again, let’s say — but the secret is being there,” he told Men’s Health in 2009.

He added: “If you’ve made a decision to play with your children, then play with them. Don’t be looking through papers on your desk or sneaking off to the computer. Turn off your BlackBerry. Lose yourself in their world. Even if you do it for a short time, it will mean a lot to you and to them.”

Modern Family star Julie Bowen has her own family of three kids to care for, and she says she’s learned from her character Claire Dunphy not to be afraid to be strict.

“I have learned a lot from playing her because she understands that though you might like to be your kids’ best friend, that is not what’s best for the kids,” the actress said. “I’ve had mine say, ‘You’re not a nice mommy.’ But if I’m best friends with them I’m not setting boundaries that are going to help them become better people.”

The former Grey’s Anatomy star and mom of three told People magazine that her best parenting advice came from her own mother.

“[She] warned me, after raising four children of her own, not to make the mistake of assuming each of my kids would respond well to the same style of parenting,” Heigl said. “She told me to make an effort to understand and respect my children’s individual needs and adapt my parenting style accordingly to best support their growth and development.”

Some parents fear sibling rivalry, but mom-of-two Busy Philips uses it to her advantage.

“I’m like, ‘I feel like Cricket’s going to finish her broccoli first,’ and then Birdie’s like, ‘I can finish it first,'” Busy told Us Weekly of mealtime with her two daughters. Hey, whatever gets the job done, are we right?

Non-celebs can take David Beckham’s parenting advice, because he keeps things decidedly non-celebrity at his home.

“We are very strict parents,” he said of himself and wife Victoria Beckham, who have four children together. “We want to bring them up as closely as possible to how we were brought, because you have to give them manners, you have to give them boundaries and our children definitely have that.”

For Jennifer Garner, parenting her three kids is all about leading by example.

“I don’t think empathy is something you can drill in someone’s head,” she told Today. “You have to have faith that while your kids can seem to be selfish and concerned only about the word ‘mine’ sometimes, overall, they are watching you really carefully, and if you care about other people, they will too.”

It’s the old “do as I do” tip.

Prince William and Kate Middleton are notoriously private about their family life, but he opened up in 2017 about parenting Prince George and Princess Charlotte in a way that supports their mental health — a big cause of the royal family’s.

“Catherine and I are clear that we want both George and Charlotte to grow up feeling able to talk about their emotions and feelings,” Wills said. “There is a generation coming up who find it normal to talk openly about their emotions. Emotional intelligence is key for us all to deal with the complexities of life and relationships.”

Now that she has two kids, Chrissy Teigen realizes how quickly things change on the parenting front day to day.

“As soon as you think you have it down, something changes, and they go through a different phase,” she says. “That’s the fun part. It helps you understand that not everything is going to be perfect all the time.”

She added, “It’s OK if the diaper is on backwards. You can stop fretting over that. When you’re changing that diaper in the middle of the night, you’re like, ‘Ugh, the straps are on the wrong side!’ It’s all fine.”

Diddy has six kids, including twins. So, when Beyoncé and Jay-Z were expecting twins, Diddy gave them some really sweet advice: “You’re used to getting love from one child, but when you get this incredible love from two kids and they’re twins, it’s truly a blessing … it’s double the fun.”

Anyone with multiple kids knows that to be true.

With four kids, Michael J. Fox is used to his attention being pulled in many different directions. But when his kids want to show him something, he always tries to follow through.

“Always be available to your kids. Because if you say, ‘Give me five minutes, give me 10 minutes,’ it’ll be 15, it’ll be 20. And then when you get there, the shine will have worn off whatever it is they wanted to share with you,” he told Reader’s Digest. “I’ve never gotten up to see something one of my kids wanted to show me and not been rewarded.”

When it comes time to travel, mom-of-two Kelly Clarkson doesn’t mess around. Her advice for moms traveling with children is to stock up on distractions for the sanity of everyone around.

“We definitely have iPads, because at some point travel can be total hell. Not just with kids, but in general. A flight gets delayed, things happen, weather. Just having something they can escape [with], play little games, watch movies on it,” the singer said.

That’s right, moms. Don’t feel bad for the extra screen time while traveling.